Extraordinarily Stupid Anxiety Triggers

If It Ain’t Britney, It Makes Me Anxious

New album releases make me anxious, unless they’re Britney Spears. Lucero seems to be in the safe zone as well. But other than that new music album releases make me anxious.

That may be the stupidest anxiety trigger of all time.

And the thing is that I know that. I can laugh at it. It’s not a fear of the new album release killing me or doing something bad. Shiz just makes me anxious. Even if I’ve never heard of the artist and someone mentions it to me.

I think on some level, deep down it’s a fear of missing out and I don’t fully understand that. In most capacities in life, FOMO has bypassed me. And yet, if a friend tells me they’re excited that some band I’ve never heard of is releasing their album soon or recently did so — POOF — instantly anxious.

I can actually top that in terms of stupidity, but not the level of anxiety. Stupid on another level, stupid. Ready for this? Different colored hangers. As I work through this series, I’ve got back to the practice of reducing small, background irritants.

It’s those damn irritants that start the anxiety ball rolling and before you know it you’re hiding under your steering column of your car… or something like that.

In the mornings while I wait for my coffee pot to do the work of the higher power and make magic, I straighten my home. This morning ritual is my jam. Putting physical order to my world while my coffee pot, lovingly named Homer, makes a tasty dark roast is a very simple, happy thing.

That is until I would go to hang up clothes and the pretty different color hangers that I purchased just a few months ago would set my order and control issues off. At 5 am I’m so damn tired putting laundry away is fun. I clearly don’t have the mental capacity at that time to deal with really, really stupid, magnificently petty shit, like the color order my hangers are in.

That’s not even a first world problem — it’s 100% pure stupid.

This weekend I went out and bought all black hangers and donated all the pretty colored ones. For under $10 I solved one of the stupidest non-problems of all time.

The point of why I would even put this stupidity into words is that anxiety is not logical. Yes, there are some triggers that are legit for me and the 40 million other Americans with anxiety. Please don’t yell at me. I don’t handle it well. Don’t ask me to go to the mall with you, that’s like asking if I’d like to have a nationally televised rectal exam. Are malls even real anymore? Don’t tell me. I’m better off thinking they’re all gone.

If you’re one of the anxious, know if you choose to put in the work, every blessed day, it does get better. I legit cannot even remember all the stupid shit that used to make me anxious and ruin a perfectly lovely day. Now 99.9% percent of shit rolls off me and I move on. It gets better.

… until someone drops a new album. Ha! I kid.

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