If It Doesn’t Make You Happy, Healthy or Wealthy, Forget It
Let go of what does not serve you.
Why am I here?
I think we’ve all been there. Wondering why you’re somewhere doing what you’re doing. Are you working a job you absolutely hate because the title looks good on your business cards and makes your parents sleep well at night? I know I’ve been there. Are you at a baby shower sniffing melted candy bars out of commercial diapers wondering if the hostess had any idea the amount she spent on this stupid game could feed a starving baby in a third world country for an entire year? I feel your pain. I’ve been there and I want my 2 hours back. Are you 2 years into a miserable relationship and feeling alone because your friends all bailed on you? Been there. Don’t bother finishing this article, break that shit off now! If you want to. You’ve got options.
Point is we’ve all been in shitty situations and had no idea how we wound up there or why we don’t leave. If you have anxiety, there’s a good chance you’re there out of guilt and the habitual need to fill up your schedule to prevent down time to deal with your anxiety. If you’re constantly in motion the anxiety monster can’t catch you. False. If you sign on for way more than you can handle and put yourself in several situations where everyone depends on you, then you have legit reasons to feel stressed and anxious. Also false.
You’re going to have to deal with the anxiety monster at some point. If you don’t do it on your terms, you’ll do it on the monster’s terms.
For me, this slapped me upside the head. I was living in my hometown that I had never intended to return to after college. Not to say that I had a game plan in life, but returning ‘home’ wasn’t on my list. I did so because at the time I was seeing a fellow who wouldn’t move out of his parents’ house — 10 years later he’s still there. We broke up shortly after I moved back and yet I was chained in that city for several more years by small minded thinking. I was owner of a successful nutrition practice, founder of thriving non-profit, being flown all over the U.S. by a new beau and miserable.
I was building a life I hated and for no damn reason.
Finally it dawned on me that if it doesn’t make you happy, healthy or wealthy, fuck it.
If that sounds cold, good for you, not for me. This notion is freeing and unlocks so much goodness in life.
Baby showers — oh hell no. If I legit like you, I’ll send a gift or make a donation to hungry babies in third world countries for food, shelter, clothing and medical care. You’re welcome.
Weddings — done. I was in one and I’ve been to a few. I’m good. I’m such a good friend that everyone knows they’ll never have to go to my wedding. Everyone, including my parents will find out I got married the same way: iPhone pic from the elopement in Vegas with a caption that reads ‘Boom.’ You’re welcome.
Shit job — had plenty. I’d rather work long days doing what I love thank you.
Lousy relationship — oh, hell no! Been there, done that, didn’t even get a t-shirt, bleh!
Lately though I’d veered the course. I was talking to a woman and caught myself about to say ‘yes’ to going to a pottery event of some sort. Even the anxiety monster had to step aside to let that bullshit by. Pottery events don’t make me happy, healthy or wealthy. Not going and not finishing the conversation because people who belong in my life would never invite me to a pottery event.
A few weeks later I discovered myself signing up for anything and everything I possibly could. I woke up started at 4 am with anxiety worried about everything and that exact moment, I said, “fuck this shit.” Not in my head, not quietly, nope. As close to a yell as I could get, I let it all out. I refuse to let anxiety jar me awake at 4 am. That went down for years and I am so far from that it would be idiot to go back.
That day a list was made of everything I was involved in or working on. I went through asked myself for each and every one, “does this make me happy, healthy or wealthy?” 4 instantly went out the window. I prioritized the rest and am now striving on prioritizing my days in the same accordingly. It’s a work in progress, but I’m not waking up at 4 am with the anxiety monster squeezing my chest like a toothpaste tube.
I have options. I choose to do the things result in a happy, healthy, wealthy life where I get to donate to helping impoverish children. That’s my jam.