Shelagh Brown
5 min readJan 24, 2020

White fragility? Naw, it’s white hostility.

I have been trying to come up with a replacement for the term “white fragility” for a couple years now, unsuccessfully, as there’s no one phrase that really captures the experience of a white person losing their shit when told about their oppressive ways, or simply in dealing with us at all, but I think I have and it’s simple and was right in front of my face the whole time. There are MANY issues with this phrase, starting with the fact that it was coined by a white woman who is a researcher/anti racism educator who makes money doing this work, Robin Diangelo. Let’s not act like her work is profound or unique, and not sitting upon generations of uncompensated labor of Black women. Her theories being uplifted as the gold standard for how we talk about whiteness, especially by black folks, is problematic in itself, but that’s not what this post is about, so I digress.

This is about the term white fragility which not only continues to center white emotions and whiteness, but actually paints them as a victim in a situation where they are always being violent. As my lovely friend Amber pointed out as we were walking through the city last night after seeing the incredible Ericka Hart present on reproductive justice and sex positivity in liberation movements for the anniversary of Roe V Wade, a fragile item is something you handle with loving care, it’s delicate, and deserves to be protected. White people who are losing their shit in the face of black or brown folks calling them on their privilege, or simply our mere existence in a space they deem we shouldn’t be or gas lighting or being passive aggressive and violent, welding their power over us, don’t deserve this and absolutely should not be coddled, this is counter to liberation work.

Their responses are violent, so to me, this is more like white hostility, yep, that’s exactly what it is. If we are gonna center them lets please be accurate. PLEASE. White people need to be hella uncomfortable and do A LOT of work to end what they’ve created. Period. They don’t get to be handled with kid gloves while we are literally out here dyin. This is hard work. Period. Hostility of such nature from them should absolutely be met with whatever a black or brown person has to do in that moment to protect themselves. And when you side with a white person and coddle them in a situation like this, you’re a major part of the problem. You’re being violent too. Even if you’re not white. White emotional reactions to being confronted with their own racism are manipulative, these emotions act to maintain this hierarchy that has them on the top of everyone and everything else. And of course a white person would call it fragility, of course they would! And we’ve all just adopted it into our lexicon and continue using it, and allowing them to shape the narrative of anti racism and justice work. This ain’t ok. And this is the problem with uplifting white theories and assertions about racism. If you feel the urge to repost something a white person has said about racism, think of allllllllll The Black and brown folks harmed in the process of them getting to the point of knowledge they currently are at, and instead find a black and/or indigenous woman, femme or non binary person who has BEEN saying the SAME things for many years, whose been holding folks accountable for the predatory ways in which they move, who been speaking up and out, but in a less palatable to your colonized mind way. Uplift what they are saying instead. Pay them for their time and labor, give them speaking tours and book deals, find out what they are doing in their communities and give them money and resources so they can do it. Because you can BET they are not getting paid for speaking up and out about their own oppression and instead are being punished and ostracized for saying it. Sometimes even within their own communities It’s really pertinent that we be diligent about this and stop allowing whites to recreate their own new narrative around racism and this nations history and present to replace their old one.

Oh and also, if you’re doing equity work, you bout 10–15 years behind, nobody who knows what’s actually going on in the world or their communities wants equity within these genocidal systems of harm. What, so we can just oppress other places in the world but hey black excellence and brown billionaires, yay? Naw. We are about liberation. Liberation from all these systems and this entire way of life. And that takes WORK. And for once, oppressors need to actually work harder than us. To create a new paradigm that allows for a planet that’s safe, healthy, and just for all, it will take a lot of work on the part of white people. It will also take uplifting the voices of Black and indigenous folks who are speaking on what we live. And not just the ones who say it nicely in ways that don’t make folks uncomfortable.

Last night Ericka said, “White people will evaluate racism rather than eradicate it.” That hit hard, as that’s what I’ve run up against countless times in the last couple decades of having these conversations. There isn’t a single thing a white researcher can tell you about racism that we haven’t been saying for generations. So support the work of the actual Black and brown people doing it. Also, as Ericka said, “give black people money.” Y’all have it, share some of that generational wealth with our ancestors blood on it until the state gives Black people reparations, which you should be actively pushing for in your state and local governments, along with land given back to the people indigenous to whatever stolen land you live upon. White folks, you don’t need to create new terms for your racism and violence, you just need to do the work within yourselves and your communities and literally give black and indigenous communities money and resources to do with as we see fit. White hostility is something we encounter daily and it’s not likely to end anytime soon, so, anything you can do while we still live in this current paradigm to alleviate some of the stress from that, is useful. And still not enough.

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