Hillsboro C.O.R.E. -a memoir

Shelby Gleaves
Sep 5, 2018 · 6 min read

Fakes everywhere.

Data (or lack thereof) to preface

Hillsboro suffers from a huge discipline discrepancy. It’s something crazy unbelievable, but very real. Don’t quote me on this, but I remember it being mostly in zone students who account for most of the referrals, and the referrals are like 70% students of color. However, school diversity ballparks around 50% white, 50% black-give or take to account for other races/ethnicities.

Hillsboro C.O.R.E.

Hillsboro CORE was created to improve school climate and work to bridge the huge discipline gap. I can’t remember the acronym, but it’s something to that effect. I was approached to join and loved the idea. I knew that there was this issue and finding devoted students to support this cause was necessary to have any meaningful change. I was bright eyed and eager to talk about political movements and establish the role of CORE at Hillsboro. The old zero tolerance methods were being phased out by restorative justice practices and CORE had the opportunity to fill the void with case by case consequences. We would meet during advisory every day to discuss happenings and what not.

“Interventions”

We were told to do these interventions with troubled students from our academy. The students were referred by teachers to CORE and we were supposed to meet with them to listen to their side. Before CORE existed, an offense such as skipping would require the student to be placed on skipping contract. A teacher or administrator would meet with the student and have them and their parents sign the contract. It wasn’t optional. However, now that CORE exists, the CORE ambassadors meet with the students, listen to their story, and then break the news to the student that they had to be put on skipping contract. This happened every time. It seemed to me that I was being treated like the messenger and people kept trying to shoot me. (metaphorically obviously)

We would gather in the large group to go over the week or make goals for the week. Everytime we would gather there would always be a group of kids who would just talk over everyone the entire meeting. One day, me and two buds decided we would do the same since there were no consequences, and we were reprimanded not only by the teachers, but also by the same kids who talk over everyone. Tragically, I had already been drained of my patience that day and literally yelled at the ringleader. I had to do a circle later on with the dean as the unbiased moderator. There was nothing unbias or moderated about it. It was a waste of my precious study hall.

My last straw

Eventually, a situation happened and it was my last straw. My fellow CORE mate was caught “skipping;” I heard his story and he had a very solid reason. He didn’t deserve skipping contract. Admin prevailed and forced me to give him this contract. It was crystal clear that I was being used to buffer and distract from what was really taking place. At the next full group meeting I brought up the idea of removing skipping contract. Everybody acted like I was just trying to buck the system and accused me of never being satisfied and having some complex about disobeying authority; the list of slurs is endless honestly. I was literally being rejected from a group that was supposed to be progressive and inclusive. At this point, I looked into what restorative justice actually is, and I can assure you that we were doing was Restorative justices third incest cousin.

Skipping contract refinement?

Admin repeatedly assured me that I was not being used, but everytime I questioned the old ways I was shut down. It’s as if everyone’s feelings were valid until they criticized the institution. I would go around and share this theory to anyone who was interested or had faith in CORE. I refused to let anyone believe in CORE which, at this point, was just a huge kumbaya circle that stole all of my empathy for the day. It was always a group therapy session or useless “interventions.” Over winter break the students and dean were meeting to discuss the skipping contract, but I was out of town. I couldn’t let this moment slip away so, I wrote an essay explaining my viewpoint on an array of issues regarding CORE. When the skipping contract was removed everyone rallied together and was suddenly very on board with what I had been fighting for. The same students and teachers who made me feel invalid and reckless were now propping me up like a poster child.

she yelled at me that “my white privilege is showing”

My final days

I was ecstatic that skipping contracts were removed, and that the “interventions” were interventions, but they were right in that I was never satisfied. Social change requires constant pushing. It had been an entire semester of pushing by this point, and I was exhausted. It shouldn’t have been this hard. I was angry that everyone was so suddenly on board. Nobody in the group appeared to have a backbone; everyone just blindly compiled because it sounded good and authority told them to. I was also approached to fill out a form for a grant to supply money for snacks. I like snacks. I filled out the grant form. I was still upset about how I had been treated and felt like the group was fake. When one of the CORE admin told me that I could share my questioning feelings with her, she yelled at me that “my white privilege is showing” in front of multiple students and teachers. It was embarrassing in the least and disheartening at most. I was no longer on the fence. She never apologized. I met with the dean and she asked me a bunch of questions about CORE. They were the therapist type, like they had been disguised as casual inquiries but not very well.

Post CORE…

After I left CORE a lady who was from the Oasis center met with me and told me that my negativity was “unproductive” and “a waste of everyone’s time.” I had been telling people not to join and had been sharing my side of the story. I left CORE, so that they would leave me alone, not so that they would bother me during the lunch detention I had unfairly received for “skipping” CORE meetings. On top of the whole deal, I never received an intervention for skipping. It was either the CORE admin who told me I had white privilege or the dean who oversaw CORE who filed me for “skipping,” and interventions are upon teacher request. So it is a little bit odd that they didn’t request for a intervention considering it pertained to CORE. It seems to me that they literally avoided the process of CORE as to unfairly punish me. Super strange since that’s what they’re fighting against.

CORE teacher posted this to her IG story and captioned it “breakin’ bread with hot wings and koolaid” I really hope the snack grant wasn’t used to promote stereotypes but oh well.

It was into the second semester by now and my mom forced a meeting with the dean and the teacher who claimed I had white privilege. An apology finally came from her, but it was involuntary. The dean acted confused as to why I was upset. The principal appeared to be lost on why there was so much tension. The whole thing was idiotic.

To this day.

When I see the Dean in the hall I fake smile. It’s been almost a year since I quit CORE. As time goes on more people are questioning what CORE actually does. The student body mocks the dean for allowing students to hang out in her office and seemingly skip with no consequences. CORE received the full amount for the snack grant I wrote as well. The irony of the entire situation is just unreal.

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