The Dust

When you’ve let someone fuck you too soon,
You’ve let his hands roam your skin,
Search your skin

Your skin.
Your skin that has been built up out of stardust.
Your nerves lighting up at his touch,
Your body now the northern lights of the sky,
You’re like music as a visual experience

Darling I have come here to be adored by you,
Darling I have come here,
Fully vulnerable in your home

After us talking a couple weeks, I experienced some sort of different connection

As you touch me, my mind is racing
My heart is beating onto my ribs
This body built from stardust
Suddenly trembling beneath your touch
Your lips pressing onto me
Your touch like a fucking war…

Your murmurs of adoration like a night
Spent in a room of heroin addicts
And I the needle, being used,
Inside of you

Bringing a rush injected in your bold veins
Streaming through your arms
I, the needle, eager to fill you

And then, as soon as you get what you want
I am being let go
Dropping to fall on the Earth’s surface
My purpose has been filled

You are now satisfied

When I drive past your apartment
As I’m on my way to my parent’s house
It is no longer a safe route of comfort
My heart now starts pounding
My breathing labored and fast
My hands are clenching the steering wheel

I can’t think about the road
I can’t think about the traffic
 Turn signals!

My eyes are searching every truck surrounding me,
Wondering if you are near me
Right there
Same time, same place

And I get angry
I am hurt

I am so

Tell me, Fuckboy
Does my honesty, my vulnerability actually leave you
 To the point of absolute rejection towards me?
were you just scared?

Your cowardly soul has no fucking right
To be able to hurt the honest soul
That is within me

So why do I feel like fucking apologizing?

I’ve been standing in the store cleaning aisle
Waiting to buy the multi surface cleaner
So I can wipe away the dust
You have left inside me.