3.a Self-Media in China | The Death of a Genius from a Poor Family

by Mimon, Nov. 2019, English Translation

Will be Grateful if there’re people helping me out on translations; WeChat ID: Sheldon793

On January 8, 2019, I received the news that my high school classmate Zhou passed away due to stomach cancer.
When he died, he was a financial accountant and had 551 USD on bank account. However, he was wearing a cheap jacket of 15 USD.

When he died, he was 4 months away from 25 years old.
From knowing his death, to deciding to write this article, and then today you saw this article, I spent half a month before and after.

I took the pen 5 times and put it down5 times. I can’t write it down.
Still I chose to make it happen.
To be mean, we had very little contact during college.
Friendship accumulated in high school has disappeared almost in the past five years. Because of his departure though, I entered a state of depression.

I have chosen to record everything about him today, not just because of my remorse and hoping for salvation as a friend.
But because of his departure, I start to reflect on my life in the past few years, my relationship with society, and whether everything I have done really means anything to the society as a whole.

After contemplating on these problems, I even wanted to delete all memories of my life after the age of 18, so to start it all over again.

1
On the day of Zhou’s death, I was chatting with an investor in Beijing world tower.
About what?
About the macro-economic outlook, about what industry to invest in and how to cash out, about the myth of financial freedom myth in the industry. I have worked for more than two years (including internships), and now I am doing a project, urgently needing to know the market environment next year and what products can get financing more easily. This is the normal state of my life in the past two years.

All the twists came from the fact that my mobile phone suddenly began to vibrate that day.
I picked up the phone, opened WeChat, and there suddenly popped up hundreds of messages. What’s even more amazing is that almost all of the messages came from the high school chat that no one has spoken for half a year.
Two years after I entered the workplace, I was forced to learn the ability to filter unimportant information as quickly as possible and then conclude immediately. Perhaps it’s because my boss always said: “I don’t want to listen to these nonsense. I need three future suggestions only. Do you have it?”
I have it, of course, otherwise I’m out.

So it’s the same this time, I spent half a minute summing up hundreds of messages, quickly came up with a conclusion: our high school classmate have passed away.
In all fairness in fact, there are not much thing I can recall about him. Sorry, but this is the truth.
What I can still remember clearly, are some vague images: he is not tall, about 160 cm tall, heavy accent.
But very smart, very, very, very smart.

High school has started for half a month, there came a surprise exam, the math teacher took a set of papers, at the podium she said: I heard that this class has the best students in the province, let me see what you’ve got.

After two hours, the exam was over. The teacher finished the paper and said, “This is actually the 2010 college entrance exam for Sichuan mathematics.”
For a moment, the whole class went crazy.
“What the hell, college entrance exam at the beginning of high school?”
“Nonesense”

The second day, the highest score in the class turned out to be 123. This score is already higher than scores of what most people can get after 3 years of high school. This means that even if he does not study at all for three years, he can still get 123 points in the college entrance exam.
At that time, Zhou was sitting nearby. I glanced at his 40-point paper and instantly felt that my 90 points were not bad, at least I passed.
He found that I was watching his papers, not shameful or annoyed, just a silly smile, he asked me, you guys know how to do college entrance exam questions already?
I said that we’ve learned analytic geometry and derivatives last year for Olympics competition.

He nodded and said, “wow, you are good, you have learned the Olympics.”
At that time, we had been in school for half a month, but it was my first conversation with him. My feeling at the time was that he was really stupid.

After a month, I don’t dared to say that never again.
We began to specialize on harder math studies, quiz follows immediately after the class. The questions are hard, and the problem is that we have just learned the new stuff and have not had time to digest, and there’s complaint every time.

However, since the third test, Zhou was always in the first place for mathematics in the class, and ever since until the college entrance exam.
We gradually get to know each other.
I heard about him from others. He is not from the town, but a village nearby. When he was in the middle school, he had passed all the top students in the in there. He made it into the top three middle schools in our province with first place in the city.
He is really smart, and his family is really poor.

He only got 45 yuan a week, including all meals and expenses. He has a younger sister in his family. She was six years old, studying, and she is very smart as well. The tuition fees for studying were all raised by the village committee. They all said that he is the pride of their village.

So many years later, when I saw others crying and saying “I am the pride of our village” in the show, I always thought it was the tone of his words.

I chatted with him after class from time to time, and he often found things I said was very novel. I thought that many things he said are new to me as well.

In high school, all students get free milk in the morning. I throw it away all the time. Zhou was shocked, he said, don’t waste anything! Sell it to me, but make me a good price. I asked him, don’t you have it? He laughs, I can bring it to my sister. I handed him the milk without accepting the money, only you will lose it to me next time on the test, I said.

After the first winter vacation of high school , everyone gathered together to chat. This is always the case in the student days. After a winter vacation, everyone is different. Everyone is wearing new clothes and new shoes. Some people have changed their hair styles. Some people have traveled to other countries.

Zhou as well.

That day he was wearing a new jacket; a couple of large English letters on his jacket were particularly visible.
During the class, several boys came over and said: “Sup, you got a very trendy jacket. You surely bought Adidas and transformed it yourself.” The people sitting nearby tried not to laugh, but some people still couldn’t hold it.
I said no words, pretending that I’m reading a book.

Afterwards, he secretly handed me a piece of paper, which read: “What happened to my clothes?”

I thought for a while and decided to tell him the truth: “Adidas is Adidas, and you have Adadis printed on your clothes.”
I thought he would never wear this jacket again. The next day, Zhou was still wearing the very same jacket.
Only this time, he was wearing the jacket inside-out.

A few ugly patches on the outside the clothes, it seemed even more hilarious. However, I thought that the wrong sequence of letters should be more dazzling than the patch.
I talked a few times that day and wanted to ask why he didn’t change clothes, but he didn’t ask for it. But the high IQ person’s eyesight is really good. He clearly sees my words and stops. When I read the morning reading, I said to me: “I only have this down jacket, this one, it took us all. People have a meal for half a month.”

I think that was the first time he talked about his family. No misfortunes, no extra words, no classic lines, “My family is poor”, he just said to me in a calm and calm voice: “I only have this down jacket, this one, spent half of our family. I have enough money for the month.”
Not humble.
Although I am not a rich second generation, but my family is lame, it is also a middle-class family. My parents are all readers, so that I am full of the feelings of the Virgin. So when I heard him talk about these things, my first reaction was to dodge and try to hide my pity. I already knew that his family was not good, and he thought he was pitiful, so I have been careful to avoid this.
But until that morning, when he said no words in front of me, I suddenly felt that I was a little self-confident.

2
It’s not just Zhou’s choice. Most of my high school memories are blurred.
But every time I say it, there is a loop that I can’t jump.
Our high school is probably a rare high school that promotes quality education in China. The dance piano can be elective. There are real club activities, and there are many courses to guide thinking. Every afternoon, every class will watch “News Network” in the classroom on time.

In 2013, we took the college entrance examination. In the class meeting of the first two months of the college entrance examination, the class teacher who graduated from the mathematics department of Nanjing University brushed the two words “ideal” on the blackboard.
The audience is stunned.
He waved his hand and said:
“Do you think this topic is earth? Then I will tell you today, from now on, you should cherish every person who talks to you as seriously as I do. Because when you go out into society one day, you will never again. No one will talk to you seriously about your ideals. If you meet again, you will either be a stupid person when you talk about ideals, or you will talk to you about ideals or people who want to draw cakes to lie to you to lie to you. “

There are not many people in my life who admire from the heart, but the high school class teacher counts one. When he took us, he was in his 30s, teaching mathematics, and he was a clean, pure bloodless person. Probably because he is a poor student who has been tested from Dalian Liangshan Mountain. He has suffered too much. He never suffers from poverty and loves the rich. He did not borrow the reason to call the parents to receive a point of benefit. The students can basically achieve a bowl of water.
That day, he told us:
“You are the best group of students in this province. You have received the best education since you were a child. Most of you will enter a prestigious school in the future. But I think you will remember that no matter how good you are in the future, how much you earn, you will not I will let you look at you high. You have to remember the burden on yourself. If this society and country are destined to need great people, why can’t they be you? You have the best educational resources, and you have not changed the world’s dreams. Who else do you expect?”
Then he asked each of us to tear a piece of a4 paper and write our own ideals on it. How many words don’t matter.

“If you can’t think of an ideal, write what you want to be a person after 10 years.”
At that time, the entire classroom was full of teenagers, and the style was full of enthusiasm, and the heart was full of blood, and the eyes were full of light. Under the leadership of the class teacher, we quickly entered the atmosphere and seriously fell into meditation. The words are very cautious and firm, as if they were making military orders.
Then everyone stood up and shared their ideals one by one.
Some people want to make products that change the world like Microsoft. Some people want to study drugs that cure AIDS. Some people want to be the most transparent charity. Some people want to become forensic doctors and only serve ordinary people who have no money to appeal. Some people want to be peacekeepers and officers. I want to go to Tibet to be an officer. I didn’t dare to be sloppy. I wrote on paper: “I want to be a journalist, work hard, be upright, and only speak for the people.”

In an ideal of passion and full of emotions, only Zhou’s ideal is: “Make money, be a good person.”
The eight words that are simple and have no feelings are dry and utilitarian.
We laughed at him: “Are you too perfunctory?”
He also smiled and said, “What is the ambition of the singer?”

All the ideal papers were finally collected by the class teacher, and he gave us a ten-year commitment. If you can remember to live in ten years, you can go back and ask him to take it.
Later, at the graduation ceremony a few months later, our principal also said something very similar. This passage was later included in the school history, and today I can say that my dreams can be recited:
“I always feel that I still have a lot to say to you, but I am afraid that there will be no chance in the future.
I am afraid that I am looking forward to it, but there are still some excessive demands for my elders to say.

I never want the students who go out of school to appear on the Forbes list, but I hope that you will appear on the Nobel Prize list, appear on the Pulitzer list, appear at the Lacos Medical Awards, and appear at the United Nations Charity Awards. On, even appeared on the list of outstanding contributions of humanity.
You will probably blame me, saying that this bad old man is cursing that we can’t make money?
Sorry, from the first day you entered X, I didn’t train you to the famous school students, but cultivated you as the part of the world that will change in the future.
I hope that the impact of the school on you is far more than simply sending a good university to become a billionaire. I hope that you can become a really hard-working person.

Finally, I will say 5 words. In the next 10 years and 20 years, you must be careful:
Success, glitz, anxiety, comparison, desire
Now say that you probably don’t understand. But if you feel lost in the future, you can go back to the playground in x.
Our door will always be open for those who go out, if the security guard does not let in, report my name.

- If I was still there. “
That is the most burning part of my high school memories, no, wrong, that is the most burning memory in my life.
For many years, I really never said the ideal word again. If you say it, it must be with a tone of ridicule and self-deprecation.
3

In high school, we have a total of 46 people in the whole class. We graduated from the college entrance examination and our class averaged 643. All of them were admitted to one.
Zhou Youxuan won the city science champion with a total score of 693 points and was admitted to a national first-class institution.
The title of the gold medal, we have always had a custom, we must do a school banquet. If you have a poor test, you will be charged with a red envelope. If you have a good test, you will do it by showing off. For example, a rich second generation in my high school class, his father is a real estate agent. On the day of his school banquet, Shilichang Street knew that he was admitted to Peking University. I went home and complained to my dad. You look at the battle of the parents. My dad said to me without raising my head. You look at the school where the children are tested.
Zhou Youxuan is the top 500 of the province’s 500,000 candidates, and there is no school banquet.

On the day of confirming the volunteer list, everyone returned to the classroom for the last time.
I sent him a book, “Journey to the West”. he ask me:
“Why are you sending me this book?”
“Where I wrote “Wu Chuan Chuan” ten years ago, I wrote this “Journey to the West” ten years later. Although I have a lot less sharpness, I feel moved, really. Ten years, I thought that after ten years, I can’t write it anymore.”

“You are so profound….haha, anyway, it must be sent to me if you feel good!”
I opened the last chapter of the last chapter of the book, and there is a self-report of Tang Sanzang:

Many years ago, I used to know a young man. His name is Li Shimin.
We met at the river below the temple, and at that time, he was being chased by soldiers.

I secretly took him to the temple to hide, so we became good friends.
“I owe you a life,” he said. “Is the benefactor’s law number?”
I thought about it and thought that if he was caught, he might give me up, so he said, “I feel far away.”
“I feel far, I will be yours in the future.” He said, “If I have the world, you are the Master of the National Defense.”

“Why are they chasing you?” I asked.
“Because I want to change this ugly world because there are too many sufferings in the world. I am determined to create a new world. I want to make this country rich, strong and open. Ridiculously, my ideals have become My crime.”
“When Buddha was a little prince, he wanted to make the world without poverty and sorrow, but after so many years, the Buddha became a Buddha, but the world is still in the world.”
“Are you sarcastic me? Do you think that even if I win the world, I can’t change the world?”

“Yes.” I said, “You can’t change.”
“why?”
“Because when you have nothing, you want to change the world to save the people. But when you have a great army, you have won the world and become the most powerful person. When you are long lived, will you still be the former?”
I picked up the pen and made the last sentence:

“Because when you have nothing, you want to change the world to save the people. But when you have a great army, you have won the world and become the most powerful person. When you are long lived, will you still be the former?”
I wrote two words after this sentence: altogether. Then return the book to him and say goodbye.
Later, I realized that the sentence was actually for me to listen to.
When I went to college, everyone had their own circles and fewer and fewer contacts. Later, after I changed my mobile number and WeChat again, I even forgot to add him. We are no longer in contact, one year, two years, three years, four years.

Most of the stories I have heard from my classmates and friends. True or false, rumors or facts cannot be verified. Humans really like to add fuel to others’ stories to make this story even more moving. This also reminds me that when I write this article today, I repeatedly remind myself not to play him. So all the stories that I didn’t participate in can only be recorded with “I heard it.”
I heard that his university has been studying hard. Learning has always been his life. In high school, several of us watched the gun version of “To Youth” in the classroom. When Chen Xiaozheng abandoned Zheng Wei, he cried and said that my life is a building that can only be built once. I said that Chen Xiaozheng is a scum and is not responsible. However, Zhou Youxuan shook his head and said that this is the case. Some people’s lives are a building that can only be built once. In a few words, he has carefully built this building in these years, and he dare not go wrong in one step. When I graduated from the college entrance examination, I told him that I think you should learn architecture. After all, your space geometry is so strong. He shook his head and said that the architect needed to be trained for too long, and finally chose an accounting major who felt that he could quickly earn money to support his family. He never skipped classes after he went to college, and he tried hard to take the first place.
I heard that his university has been working all the time. He went out to do tutoring, and went out to be a McDonald’s waiter, 17 yuan an hour; send flyers, earn 60 for a day; get a courier at school, take a one-dollar ran leg fee… he relied on such a piece of hair The money picked up, I have supported myself and paid tuition.
I heard that he was beaten once by the wealthy second generation in the school. At the end of the final exam, several wealthy children at home found him and asked him to help him with the mobile phone to send a lot of answers. He refused to live and die, and the one who took the lead was not very happy and said a few swear words. Specifically, I don’t know what to say. It’s probably to greet the reason why their 18th generation ancestors are so poor because they are not corrupt. Later, the two sides started to fight. How could he beat so many people?

I heard that in 2017, he could study but gave up, because he found out the disease and his sister went to high school. He must come out and make money right away. Later, he entered the company to do the finances. The company leader asked him to make a false account and promised to give him a large amount of “bonus”. He was not willing to die.
I also heard that he felt that he could not do it at the beginning of this year. But his sister was going to college in 2019, and his mother called and said to him: Your sister will not be able to read the university. Beginning in April 2018, he also worked three times in addition to his work, just to give his sister a tuition fee. He is in a hurry. Later, someone pulled him and said that there is a quick way to make money, to do a micro-business promotion of health care products, to get money quickly, there are doorways. When he heard that this was not a MLM, he refused to go to life and death, saying that he would rather sell his kidneys for his sister to study. Although I didn’t see what he refused, I always felt that I could think of the tone of his words. It should be frowning, in standard Mandarin: I can’t let my sister grow up with such dirty money.
Five months later, a group of health products companies headed by Quan Jian were investigated. And he also finished the last journey of life.
4

And what did he do when he experienced this?
5
On the day I learned about Zhou’s choice, I chatted with an investor in the izakaya in Beijing Guomao.
Chat?

Talk about the future economic situation, talk about what industry has the Red Sea blue sea, talk about how to quickly cash out, talk about the financial freedom myth in the industry. After all, I graduated for a year, and now I am doing a commercial project. I urgently need to know the market environment next year. What products are easy to get financing and what is imaginative.
So I asked him, the other is a 40-year-old investment bank, wearing a Rolex green water ghost, talking three sentences a VC, five sentences a PE.
I sat across from him, wearing a low-cut dress, revealing a looming cleavage, and a refined makeup, wearing a pair of worship and a look of admiration, looking at him half-necked. When he said something that makes sense, I will give feedback in a timely manner, such as “Wow, how is this thought?” “Oh my God, this is too powerful, you are too smart to be too much.” There is a hint of tenderness and compliment in the tone, no more, so that the person sitting across from me feels just right.
Of course, these are not what.

I have been in the business circle for a long time, and I have mastered a lot of skills that are similar to those of all walks of life. Make up the makeup they can appreciate, wear clothes that are not exposed and leave some fantasy space, and put powder and lipstick on the makeup. Even in the process of eating, you have to go to the bathroom to make up a few makeup, so that your status always looks the best.
I began to realize that my hue can actually exchange some resources for myself, realizing that there are actually many shortcuts to life. Although I am at most, I use a little color to occasionally gather information for myself and talk about the level of cooperation. I am far worse than many people.
But there are some things like this. Once you find that it is so convenient to solve the problem with the wine, it is very difficult to give up.
But that night, I received a rush to leave after the news of Zhou’s death, and the acting was barely stretched. The investor sitting across from me repeatedly indicated that I wanted to send me home. I had no intention to play with him.

6
A few days later, some high school classmates in our class gathered together.
Surprisingly, this turned out to be the best time we got together after graduation. There are 46 people in our class, and there are 24 on the day. At this gathering, everyone’s atmosphere was heavy at first, and the topics were all around him.
Among us, the old squad leader, who is most familiar with him, told us some details.

For example, when he left, there was really no money for treatment at home.
When he left, there were only a few clothes in the closet. He was wearing the adadis down jacket that was worn in high school.
When he left, the money he earned from working was not only for his own life, but also for the family to pay for the money. There was still 3700.6 in the bank card — all the tuition fees for his sister.
Everyone is lamented that it is a smart and hard-working person to choose. It is a pity.

But about an hour later, the atmosphere at the scene began to turn, and suddenly became a professional exchange (contrast) conference. Everyone’s topic has begun to become:
“I went to Ali and rose to p7 in two years.”
“I am doing bd now, doing our business, the point is to be able to drink and laugh with laughter hahahahaha.”
“We had a pit smashing thing some time ago. We had a customer last time and gave him a few tender models. Later, his wife came in and said that the child was sick in the hospital, and we were in trouble with our company. You said that your husband is like this. What is the solution for our company?”

“I have several college students who have started a business, and now investors are really good at cheating. I also want to make a product trick to try.”
“You don’t want to say this, I just make an investment. As long as we voted for him, it proves that the person who makes the product is not stupid, the user is stupid, and who does not earn the money to earn money?”
“Ha ha ha is the best to make money for the stupid money now.”
“Yeah, those things that are now on fire, dy, don’t use the inferiority of people to make money? No way, or bad money.”

“Our school is really amazing. Everyone is basically a social elite. I will take care of each other in the future.”
……..
I was suddenly tired and really tired.
I have been in Beijing for so many years, even when I am laughing at the most difficult people, I don’t feel so tired. I bowed and sent a message to the squad leader: but 3700.6 is not enough for one year.

The squad leader returned to me: Your focus will always be amazing.
I didn’t return to him. I have been thinking about this 3700.6. I guess he must be uneasy when he left because he has not given his sister enough tuition.
Finally, in a conversation that was half of the exchange of “social elites” and half of the show off, I mentioned that the package left. I feel sick at the moment I go out, I don’t know what I am doing here. Then I looked down and saw the prada bag with da da printed on my own deliberately. I felt very sick at the moment. I quickly turned the logo to hide, and then began to try to take a taxi home, but also added a scheduling fee, but I don’t know why, I can’t get a car. I have been in the cold for a long time, long time, long time.
Finally I chose to walk home.

On the way I think of a lot of inexplicable people and things.
I remembered my grandmother. After I entered the workplace for more than a year, my grandmother was seriously ill and I went home. When I found a relative in the house, I didn’t have time to get into the situation. I started to pay for relatives after running. I used to be uncomfortable in the past, and now I can take care of it with ease. My grandma has been watching me not talking. Then when I went out, I heard her start to rush at my dad. She told my dad, “I said that I will not let my granddaughter work to let her go abroad to study. You will not, you said to follow her. You look at her like this now, the whole person still has a little child’s aura, just follow A middle-aged person in a slick city. She is only in her 20s.”
I remembered when I first moved into the current community. One bedroom and one living room next to Chaoyang Joy City, the rent is 10,000 a month. Before I moved in, someone told me that my neighbors were almost single girls, and five of them could be kept. Later, when I was looking at the house, the landlord aunt insisted on seeing me, probably wondering how such a young girl could afford such a expensive house. In her guess, I should also be a member of the army.
What I finally remembered was the class meeting in which we wrote “ideal” together in high school. I am reminded of the tears of a room-old youth who wrote down the great things that day. And tonight, most of this group of teenagers are sitting in the room where I just fled, talking about how to swindle the investors’ money and how to make silly money. I heard that the class teacher is still committed to keeping the “ideal” that we wrote when we were 18 years old, but I don’t know, there are still some people who have faces to ask him what he wants in the past.

I really don’t want to, why do we become what we are today?
In fact, as early as graduation, the principal has reminded us of success, glitz, anxiety, comparison, and desire. Just let us walk, or forget. I don’t know if life is “a lot of truth, it’s still a bad life.” From the beginning to the end, we haven’t seriously lived this life?
I found Zhou Weide’s WeChat avatar in my classmates. The avatar is a photo of his college graduation ceremony. In the photo, he wears a bachelor’s suit, and the wheat on the top of his head is on the left. The screen on the back is printed with the name of the university full of glory. He smiled and looked like a mathematician who accepted the Nobel Prize.
I suddenly felt that among a group of so-called “social elites”, only the one who self-deprecated the singer’s ambition in the past realized the wish of the old principal: “I never want the students who go out of school to appear on the Forbes list. But I hope that you will appear on the Nobel Prize list, appear on the Pulitzer Prize list, appear at the Lacos Medical Awards, appear at the United Nations Charity Awards, and even appear on the list of outstanding contributions for humanity.”

What is the ambition of Hongjun’s knowledge of the bird’s centipede? Hongjun’s ridicule of the singer’s ambition? Who is Hongjun, who is the geese? Who are we laughing at?
7
I ordered his avatar that night and did a very stupid thing.
I clicked “Add to Address Book”.
The stone sinks into the sea.
Ten of his friends can see ten. The penultimate article was issued on October 31, 2018. It shared a song called Zhang Xiaojiu’s “Yuxiang”. This song is very hot in our high school circle. I have shared it at least ten times in the circle of friends. Many other high school friends have also shared it. I guess he might have heard it from someone else’s share. After all, he never took the time to listen to the song because he didn’t have that leisure. His time is spent learning and working to make money.
And in the first “Yuxiang”, there is a lyrics:
“Get the dust down, don’t get your eyes dirty.”
I think I am no longer qualified to listen to this song, after he left.
Since 2010, I have known that Zhou has chosen for 8 years. I used to think that he was also the son of the election. Born in a small village where few people can go to high school, but admitted to the province’s best high school, the country’s famous university.
When I was a little younger, I often dreamed. The life of all of us in our dreams is actually a well. The darker and more terrifying the end of the well, the first half of our life is to climb hard from the bottom of the well. At that time, I could only see some people crawling fast, some people crawling slowly, some people working hard, and some people being lazy. Zhou has chosen him to be born deeper than me, but climbed much faster than me. So when we were in high school, we were already on the same page. I believed that in a few years, he would step me to the wellhead and live in the light forever.
When I grew up, I stopped doing this dream, but one day I suddenly remembered it. I had forgotten a lot of details in my dreams. For example, the way we each climb up is actually different. Some people are sitting in the elevator, press the button to select the right floor to go up, for example, we have a good squad leader who is good at home, and then a rich second generation who has the choice to send an answer. Some people are walking stairs, such as me, but I am tired of stairs, always envious of people who can take the elevator.

There are also people who have only a tattered rope thrown in front of him. In his life, he must use all his strength to climb up the well wall, and the blood flow can not stop. The worst result is that when you climb to the place where you will see the light, you will fall back to the bottom of the well.
For example, Zhou has a choice.
We have met briefly on the road. Later, I went down the river, but I lost myself in the fame and fortune of life.
Over the years, I have become a market leader, I will count the calculations, I will play tricks on the scenes, and I will start to smile at people. The standard of my choice of men has changed from my love to my favor. I have long since remembered that “only for people to talk about people”, I see people say that people are very good at saying ghosts.
There is no more light in my eyes.
I often comfort myself. I clearly have a literary elite. It is this society that has forced me to become such a utilitarian businessman.
But his departure made me have no face to say this.
Over the years, I have read many articles and wrote about “The cold door is hard to get out of the house.” It is especially easy to write a child who is poorly born, even if it is tested, it is easy to go wrong, such as being turned to pyramid schemes, such as making money for fraud, the words are full. It is the taste of pity.
Now I don’t think so.
In the bottomless well, he grabbed the broken rope that God had handed him, and many times he invited him to take shortcuts.
“You send us an answer, and the annual living expenses are all there.”
“Doing health care products, business people, afraid of jealousy, lie to others and not lie to your family!”
“You can get a little bit of money on your account, and you can get the money you have never seen in your life.”
But even if he was finally smeared with blood, he would rather die and not go.
It is clearly us, this life is a light and easy road, and a little bit of temptation comes out immediately, but it is said that I have been forced to be a good man. However, Zhou Youzhi, who was really forced into desperation by life, never complained at one time.
When did the society force me?
Or did I shirk my suffering from desires to the world?
I don’t know the answer.
8
On the evening of January 20, 2019, the squad leader asked the group in the group to go to his funeral.
I opened a hammer note and wrote a paragraph to him:
The death of a champion who was born in the cold door 1
After I finished writing, I sent it to the squad leader and asked him to help print it out and bring it to the scene. He said that handwriting is more formal. I said, no, I haven’t written a pen for many years, and I can’t afford it.
This is probably my last farewell.

I have been thinking about a strange problem after he left.
Everyone will have their own epitaph. Ye Zhizhi’s epitaph is “Looking at the cold, life and death. The rider, and the front.” Hemingway’s epitaph is “I can’t stand up,” and Shaw’s epitaph is “ I have long known that no matter how long I live, this kind of thing will definitely happen.” Frost’s epitaph is “I have a lover-like dispute with the world.”
I always wanted to write a proper sentence for him. I was very impressed by the epitaphs of these people, but I never thought of a proper one. On the day of writing this note, I suddenly remembered the sentence that the principal said at the graduation ceremony: “I hope that the impact of the school on you is far more than simply sending a good university to become a billionaire. I hope that you can Become a person who has really worked hard.”
So, probably this sentence is the most suitable epitaph for him -
“A person who really lives hard.”