How to Start a Conversation With Your Child About the Coronavirus

Image via Pexels/Jennifer Murray

As the latest updates on the coronavirus pandemic flash across our TV screens, computers, and social media feeds, it’s natural to feel afraid. If you’re a parent, those feelings of fear can quickly escalate as you wonder how to protect your kids amid so much uncertainty.

But while your child’s physical health should be a priority, it’s also crucial to consider their mental and emotional well-being during this time. Even if your child is too young to understand what the coronavirus is, children are sponges — they soak up the emotions they are exposed to. If you’re worried, chances are they will feel worried as well.

If you’re considering talking to your child about the coronavirus, keep these tips in mind to help you steer the conversation in the right direction.

Take your child’s age into consideration.

This is a crucial step as children experience different fears at different ages. Typically, preschool- and elementary-school-aged children are not old enough to rationalize their fears. Adding to the typical fears they face, such as imaginary monsters or going to the doctor, would be unfounded and could lead to further anxiety.

If your child is in middle school, it’s generally better to wait until your child broaches the topic of the coronavirus themself, though that could be sooner rather than later if your child’s school is closed. However, for high schoolers who are probably well aware of the coronavirus and its impact, an open and honest discussion could prove beneficial in the long term.

Are you worried? Let your kids know.

Another important factor to take into consideration is your emotional state as a parent. Are you worried that your family will be exposed to the virus? Children realize when their parents feel afraid or worried. If your concerns about the virus begin to impact your anxiety and comfort level — especially while you’re at home with your child — then you should be the one to initiate the conversation.

Start by telling your child your own fears, as well as the steps you’re taking to alleviate those fears, such as washing your hands more frequently and cooking and playing together at home. By being honest and providing solutions for addressing your anxieties, your child will know that — although you’re concerned — you have an action plan in place.

If your child is too young to understand what the coronavirus is and you’re worried that bringing up the topic will cause them unnecessary anxiety, you can implement new, simple health routines without mentioning the coronavirus. For example, you might teach (or remind) your child to:

• Avoid sharing food or drinks with anyone, even family.
• Wash their hands frequently (e.g., after playing outside, before eating and drinking, and after toileting).
• Avoid touching their eyes, nose, and mouth.
• Stay clear of people who are coughing or shows other signs of illness.
• Wipe down surfaces such as phones, doorknobs and light switches regularly.

While these are all basic personal hygiene habits, they will go a long way in helping your family to avoid sickness and bringing calm to your parental fears.

Let your kids express their fears openly.

Even if you take measures to address your fears, your child might see the news or overhear conversations about the coronavirus while they’re at home. So what do you do if your child expresses worry or fear?

First, take the time to listen. Encourage your child to speak openly about their anxiety or complaints and don’t interrupt. This will enable your child to learn how to put their fears into words and encourage them to come to you without fear of judgment or repercussions.

After your child has told you everything, tell them you understand their fear and that feeling scared is normal. Next, help your child develop solutions for what they can do when they experience fear. If their fear is related to the coronavirus or another illness, the health habits mentioned above could be a few of those solutions. This is also a great exercise for addressing other fears your child may experience. For example, if your child is afraid of a stranger taking them away from their family (which is a very common fear), some solutions could include telling the person to stop and shouting no, yelling and screaming, “You are not my parent!” or grabbing onto something and not letting go.

Establishing these kinds of responses to a potentially negative situation will give your children the power to take control of their fears.

Have a plan in place.

If you have talked with your child about the coronavirus but still find yourself worried, develop an action plan to give yourself peace of mind.

1. Write down a plan for physically combatting the virus. Again, the health habits mentioned previously are a good place to start, but you should also cite the specific steps you will take to prevent your child from becoming ill if that is one of your concerns.
2. Develop a coping plan for managing your anxiety. Define the specific fear and then determine how that fear is impacting your ability to function during your daily routine. If you’re worried about what you would do if your child became ill, write down the steps you would take.

Having an action plan is an excellent method for alleviating fears, as it gives you the time and space to think rationally about what you can do if your fear becomes a reality.

We don’t have control over the coronavirus or its potential impact, but we can address our fears and those of our children. By taking the time to have thoughtful conversations and by brainstorming solutions to protect our children, we can spend less time worrying and more quality time with our families.