Great read! I, too, recently left my Grown Up Job to pursue a dream career in creative writing. I’ve found it strange removing myself from the rhythm and expectation-laden workload of gainful employment. On the need for discipline/schedule, I’ve been struggling to settle into this and actually found it a little stifling, creatively. I realise I risk sounding like a true wanker when I say this, but I actually find it much harder to convince myself to spend an unproductive day watching Netflix than I do to meet a self-imposed due date. Years of deadline- and KPI-oriented work has forged in me a steely center of determination to tick items off to-do lists and hit closely-monitored targets for time spent on tasks — and it’s actually kind of tough tricking my brain into believing that these aren’t necessarily the only measures of productivity in my new creative life. If I’m just executing a creative to-do list with military precision instead of a corporate one, I may as well have never left the corporate world to begin with. All of this is, of course, my manifestation of the over-developed inhibitions that — as you quite rightly point out — we all need to shed in order to create art.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts — it’s triggered quite a cascade of my own :)