Thanks for coming back to me with your thoughts. Interesting points around child support as an inhibitor to sex without contraceptives — I suspect we might be coming at this from different sides of the planet (literally)? I’m based in Australia and, as I understand it, child support works quite differently in the U.S. Furthermore, the history of access to abortion in case law (i.e., Roe v Wade) differs substantially, and it’s the other side of this coin.
Here, in Australia, I think culturally we don’t place quite so much emphasis on “avoiding paying child support”/”trapping a man into paying child support” (depending which way you look at it). We do have systems of child support, of course, but it would seem (and I’m not an expert, so amateur opinion here!) that (a) it’s often less financially crippling for the parent who pays (and I do say often, not always, so I hope no one jumps down my throat with an anecdote), and (b) a lot more scrutiny is placed on on other types of parental participation ($ is just one factor of many areas parental involvement in development and support). As such, I don’t think that the sole financial consideration of “child support” factors as strongly into decision-making about sex and contraception.
When it comes to the issue of trust (re: doubting that women would trust men even if there were a male pill), I don’t think it would necessarily be any different. How many men — especially in your neck of the woods, I’m assuming, given the conversation we’re having about child support in this context — unquestioningly trust a woman who say that she’s on the pill?
And, as for emotional burden: as I think we can establish from this article and responses alone, in the current state of play responsibility for preventing pregnancy in heterosexual relationships disproportionately falls on women (the “fertility work”). It’s not just the financial responsibility ($ spent on doctors visits, prescriptions, etc.), or the physical responsibility (e.g., side effects), but also the associated time, attention and stress (e.g., maintaining a life routine that allows for a pill to be taken at the exact same time each day, or time spent researching and evaluating contraceptive methods, or preparing for invasive procedures, or…). These activities and behaviours have a definitively gendered distribution, even though there are less common contraceptive behaviours (e.g., as you suggest, male vasectomy) that would indicate it is entirely possible for the burden to be shared. And it’s not just a once-off appointment or prescription or decision: women spend anywhere up to thirty years of their life actively avoiding pregnancy (massive generalisation, I know, but we’re talking about an aggregate concept here), and the responsibility for maintaining contraception throughout all of that time remains with them. Look at the difficulty that women experience accessing a permanent contraceptive solution (sterilisation) compared with the relative ease with which men can access their equivalent. As you said, for you it was $700 and a few days on the couch watching video games — while women face an uphill battle even finding a physician who will perform the procedure, before the expense ($ and time investment) even really begins. When you look at it, your getting a vasectomy was the ultimate feminist act. Well done ;)
If you were looking for a more tangible day-to-day example of emotional burden, consider say: a mid-twenties woman in a suburban area looking to procure an intrauterine device to prevent pregnancy for up to ten years. This would require at least 2–3 doctors visits with invasive questioning as to why pregnancy must be prevented and for how long and current sexual activity and anticipated future sexual activity (plus associated time off work and routine upheaval), at least 2–3 hours research (to determine what type of device to have placed copper vs hormonal and associated side effects of each, whether to pre-purchase a device or use one provided by a clinic, find a clinic with sufficient proximity to home to allow for travel assuming one can be found at all, to determine whether to undergo local or twilight anaesthetic — bearing in mind what implications that has for transport home, and so on and so on), and then she finally gets to the logistical execution of arranging and undertaking the procedure (e.g., timing an appointment to fall in the middle of the Venn diagram of clinic availability and either the woman’s period or two-week abstinence prior to the procedure — because the placement of an IUD can induce miscarriage, the clinic needs to be assured that no pregnancy has occurred prior to the procedure so that they can’t be accused of providing an abortion). The procedure itself would cost in monetary terms around $300, usually, plus/minus. All the while a heterosexual partner… goes about his daily life? Throws his condoms away to ready himself?
I wish I could have expressed all of that more succinctly, and thank you for bearing with me :) On the whole, I think what our relative perspectives have demonstrated quite well is that male contraceptives will have markedly different uptakes depending on the cultural sensitivities and emphases of the people in question. I maintain my conviction that, (as I said in my initial response) while there may be many men who would welcome the opportunity to control their own reproductive futures with access to a male-administered and male-maintained contraception, there just aren’t enough of them and — on my side of the globe anyway — our societal power structures just make it unlikely to ever happen. Really glad to have had the opportunity to think more about this and discuss it with you, thanks! :)
