A new beginning… sucks.

Well, here I am, a month away from leaving my hometown to travel over to the beautiful city of Amsterdam, so technically I’m going to sob about all that I find wrong with my decision, bare with me now.

I hear great stories from friends about the city, the architecture, the bikes and the night parties.
I am going to study at the University of Amsterdam, a great place to be, especially a great place to get my master’s degree.
I have a scholarship that will take care of my tuition, less money problems.
I have all of that.
I am leaving. It sucks.

I am leaving my friends, my family, my lifestyle, my social status, my street, my car, my live. My love.
And sometimes I just sit in bed wondering if it is even worth it, leaving all that behind, leaving that special someone I have here, just to get a piece of paper. I think about all the good times, I think about all the sad time, all of those memories that will be left behind, and I will start again, turning a blank page in my life. And how I wish that trough that blank page, a small smear of the last one can seep trough, that smear of a person that meant the world to me, that person that I could finally say that I love.

But I didn’t.