Why I no longer apologize for being an introvert…

I’d like to think of myself as a high functioning introvert or maybe not.

I distinctly hate small talk with random people and sometimes people I know. I can easily sit with you in silence and just enjoy your company. That may come off as rude in circles with people I don’t know but often times, small talk to me seems forced and I abhor it. I hate the usual questions that are involved in small talk “sooo what do you do? Where do you work? Sooo you’ve lived here all your life??” insert eye roll everywhere in there. Questions asked for responses that won’t be remembered. Don’t bother… I’d rather if I am to take on a small talk be more ingenious with questions. Ask something real and relevant…

I value friendships. Like I really value close friendships. I am the one to have your back through thick and thin. I am extremely loyal to a fault. I give my all in a friendship both mentally, physically and emotionally. If you’re good to me, I’ll be good to you. However, if you’re bad to me, I’ll struggle with you and the decision to let you go as a friend. I can literally cut off a person when decided and never look back. It’s like a light switch goes off… #pitchblack

Now, when I am chatty and engaging it’s because the topic and conversation is deeply exciting. I will go on for hours. I will be passionate about anything that affects or excites me. I like meaningful conversations. I always remember meaningful conversations. People will think because I am introvert and suddenly see me chatty think I’m rude… Again find something that excites me and I literally light up and become a blabber mouth.

Time and time again, anyone who knows me will tell you, that I hate meetings specially long ones. Send me an email or make that meeting short and to the point. I hate speaking in circles. How many times do we you to say the sky is blue??? I literally zone out and become borderline non-functional. I usually step out for at least 5 minutes to be alone and regroup… Most people think I have a short attention span… I do. Remember K.I.S.S — Keep It Simple Silly!

My idea of fun and others vary differently. While most of my friends value the same parties over and over, I literally get bored. However if I say I’m ready to have fun at a party with friends, best believe I will get down and never want to leave. It would be the best event ever… That happens regularly. I think my friends are used to it by now… (I hope). My idea of fun is sometimes a quiet bar where I can enjoy a good conversation or laying in quiet spot or heading down the coast to a waterfall with close friends. That’s fun for me. Lately, I am thinking of going to new locations around the world by myself just to enjoy the anonymity and tranquility…

I am usually aware of the feelings of others. I try to never speak out of turn. I always tell people, I’m observant, I just don’t feel the need to speak up all the time. So this may come off as me being thoughtful or downright, lost; however most times I am just weary of where I am and feel my silence is better…

Communication. I THRIVE on it. For work and other things, I’d rather read what you have to say. Send me an email, I need to read it. I can’t have a conversation about this. I need time to read whatever it is slowly, process, assess, have a moment to understand and then I will give the best possible response. I love anything written. Just so I can read it over and over again… the words seem better the 100th time around. I love letters, cards, emails, Thank you notes and just random scraps of paper saying something deep… anything written means so much to me. I feel appreciated..

For relationships — specially intimate, speak to me clearly. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I like to hear things over and over again sometimes…specially when I’m uncertain… Communication puts me at ease.