Day 39

I’m back, on a Saturday morning while kids are at their 1-hour drawing class. I’m supposed to do my weekly education blog for my 2112 and counting Chinese followers. But I also want to spend a bit time to be here just for myself. It feels safe and cozy that almost nobody knows I’m here so I don’t have the same pressure on Wechat. But also it feels fun to have something to my own to always think about.

Plan — I just wanted to write down some real reasons why I didn’t get to work on my stuff one hour per day in the past 20 days.

Reality — let’s see what I was busy with. Monday and Thursday nights I have dance classes. I also try to schedule monthly evening chats with some of the friends I admire and interested in talking to. Girls are getting into their dance show season and so many things to buy and get ready for. Mom needs to buy a lot of things to bring back home so there were several nights I was ordering online for her too. Then I got tired. I never felt this tired at night. I used to always laugh at Hubbie who would collapse on the bed right after putting the girls to bed. I instead take pride in my ability to exercise and learn more after a whole day. But I guess not any more. I do need a break. So this is my break time.

How I feel — I feel happy that I have control of my life. I get to decide when I want to keep going and when to take a break. I feel I’m still very passionate about what I’d like to do and that alone makes me look forward to getting up every day.

So there you have it — how a working mom with full responsibilities for family, and beyond can do any more work outside her normal life? The answer is “not always”. All these glorified “multi-tasking” over-achieving moms all have their own stories behind the scenes, at least I believe.