Amen, Ezinne Ukoha! I made the mistake of marrying not one, but two men who I thought I could mold into the image of what I thought a perfect husband should and could be for me.
The problem is I am a bohemian artist, writer and musician, need tons of alone time and if I am in a relationship with anyone, I need them to see me. And rejoice in me. And I need to rejoice in them.
After my second divorce, I was certain I would never marry again and was fine with it. When people asked me if I had children and why not, I said I had made a choice not to have them for a variety of reasons. People seemed more upset about me being childless than husbandless.
When I was 54, I very unexpectedly did meet the man of my dreams. Someone who sees me and loves me as I am. Gives me the space I need and the love. Someone who’s company I enjoy more than anyone else I know. And he is a gentle soul. This was absolutely not in my plans at the age of 54.
BUT and here’s the important part. Had I not met and married him, I would be perfectly content on my own these days. Because I’ve learned to love myself, see myself, be myself, not make excuses or apologize for myself anymore and I can be quite happy by myself. As a matter of fact, much happier than being with someone who may shower love upon me but has no idea who I really am.
So you keep being your wonderful, magical Ezinne self. And with or without a man, you will always be f*cking fabulous because you just can’t help yourself! xoxoxo