An Aside to My Suicide Story
Benjamin Sulle

Benjamin, I am so happy that you are able to feel the love that so many, including myself, have sent you.

When I was 12 my life was changed by a catastrophic illness, that scarred me deeply both physically and mentally. I suffer from PTSD to this day and just started therapy (again!) with a new very qualified provider who is giving me hope that one day I will stop wanting to hurt myself and feel safe in this body and in this world.

I really began healing when I started writing on Medium and receiving the most beautiful and loving responses to my story of horror. I have made some very close friends here that I know understand my journey and they know I understand theirs.

I call them my tribe, my soulmates, my kindred spirits. And now you are part of my tribe because we connected on a gut level and our tribe is bigger than each of us.

I made up the word doppleschmerzen, which means “twin ache.” It is the ache I have of missing my Medium tribe members who are my kindred spirits even though we’ve never met in real life.

And now you are one of my doppleschmerzen, along with all the others in our tribe. Welcome home, Benjamin. You are in a safe place filled with love.