Benjamin Sulle, Your story breaks my heart. I cannot begin to imagine how you must feel or what is at the root of your desire to leave this world. But I can tell you that you matter to me. Your writing matters to me. Your life matters to me.
I pray that you find whatever it is here on this earth that can make you want to stay whether it is love, passion, interest, service, professional help, medication, an animal, a lover, a story to tell, a story to read…
I have suffered from suicidal ideation my entire life and finally found a medication after much professional help that made me want to stay here and engage in my life rather than leave it.
I pray that you find peace and serenity.