#Melancholy Or, the story of the little bitch who loved me so much they wanted me to kill myself.
Heather Nann
759

How eloquently you describe the relationship between my self-destructive coping mechanisms and myself, Heather. It was shocking when I realized the love affair I’ve had with my eating disorders, OCD, addictions, isolation, etc. As I read, I replaced the word “melancholy” with each one of them and was a little sickened to realize I’m not ready to let go of them completely, forever. They are my oldest and best friends. I don’t see them often anymore, but somehow knowing they are there comforts me. Especially the OCD. When I think of giving up some of the more ingrained rituals, the very thought makes me panic and become short of breath. The best I can do is try to avoid them one day at a time, some days with more success than others. Thank you for this revelatory piece. It really touches me, deep down, where I live.