The Quest for Adulthood
Ananyaa Ravi

How sweet you are, Ananyaa. I remember when I was in my late twenties and 50 and 60-year old people seemed so…old. And I also began to have a sense of my place in the world and finally began to realize that my parents were individuals with their own lives, dreams, bills, marriage relationship that did not include me.

I lived in mortal fear of losing them because they were so entwined in my life and my mother and I, especially, had a bond that could only be described as fierce and passionate. I literally got ill when I thought of losing her and knew I could not survive in this world without her. She knew me better than anyone, could read my mind, and supported me through some excruciatingly dark times, in spite of the fact that it caused her great trauma and heartache.

When I began to see my parents as individuals, I was able to begin to hold family parties at my house, take my mom to lunch, take my parents to dinner occasionally and relate to them more as adult to adult.

Today I am 59. Probably older than your parents. And I am so impressed that you are concerned for their future - that endears you to me.

So I want to put your mind at ease.

I feel vital and still am full of childish wonder and joy. I am a firm believer in magic. I am a better artist, writer and musician now than ever before and have more time to be prolific because I am no longer struggling to establish a career as a graphic designer.

I met the man of my dreams 3 years ago, my missing puzzle piece I never dreamed existed, and in November we got married. After 3 years together, I am still gobsmacked stupid in love with this man and thank God for him, every day.

As for my parents, they are doing quite well. They are 87 and 85, and are in relatively good health aside from the arthritis and other inevitable betrayals of our bodies as we age.

My mother says her mind has slowed down some, has trouble finding words sometimes, has less energy and requires more concentration to take care of their household, bills, etc., which is completely normal for that age.

Fortunately because she is brilliant and has always run circles around me, her slower thinking process just brings her down to the level of most of us other mere mortals.

I share this with you because all things considered, your parents probably have many more years to share with you.

With some luck you will maintain your childlike spirit of wonder and appreciate all the great moments you have in store for you and know that when you hit your 50s your life will be far from over or near the end.

As a matter of fact in the last 2 years, I just got 3 tattoos and although I may be judged by others for them I love them and have no regrets.

Tattoo by Ami Lynn at

p.s. Ami Lynn is one amazing plocker!