How well I understand the dilemma of not wanting to hurt loved ones, yet needing to tell your story with authenticity as if your life depended on it.
I am working on a memoir as well, and this is by far my biggest struggle. I tend to publish the stories that are mainly about me or are funny because I don’t want to make my loved ones relive some of the most horrific moments of our lives: murder, suicides, mental illness, catastrophic physical illness, the pall of the Holocaust and some very rebellious teen and early adult years to name a few.
And yet those moments made me who I am. They are integral to my story and it would be pointless to write it without including them. I recently read that the best way to write a memoir is not to make anyone a villain and maintain their humanity. For now, I am just writing as much of it as I can, without editing or censoring and will eventually integrate, edit, rewrite and possibly re-frame from a more objective perspective. Or not.