I recently married the love of my life and we celebrate Valentines the same way I’ve celebrated it for years. We ignore it.
It is just a day like any other. If you treat the people you love in your life with mindfulness and true love, you don’t need a holiday that screams “THIS IS THE DAY, FOLKS!” “GO FIGHT YOUR WAY THROUGH THRONGS OF PEOPLE SCRAMBLING FOR FLOWERS AND CANDY.” “MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER WITH A GAZILLION DOLLAR RING OR BRACELET OR, OR OR…”
My husband brings me coffee in bed every morning of the week. And then he does the dishes from the night before. He may clean out the cats’ litter box because I’m disabled and even that amount of scooping will throw my neck and shoulders into spasms that may land me in bed for days.
After he gave me flowers for the first couple birthdays and Valentines days that we were together, I realized the absolute ludicrousness of him having to rush out at the crack of dawn in order to surprise me with flowers.
I told him, “You know what? I hate Valentines day. I hate the expectations, the obligation, the expense and the absolute predictability of it. You bring me coffee in bed every morning. That is pretty much the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. Would you mind if we ignored Valentines Day from now on?”
And that is exactly what we do.