Alexainie, most women dye their hair (I once had dinner with a dozen others and learned that we all did) and you should do whatever you wish for as long as it makes you happy. In my case, I’m over 50 but dying my hair has little to do with age; I don’t have much gray but I’m emotionally invested in being a redhead, which loses its vibrancy long before gray sets in. Either way, I don’t think it makes us more or less of a feminist.
Will it make you look younger? Certainly. I know a few women who got tired of dying and there was, sad to say, a bit of a Holy Crap response. Will it make you feel any younger? Perhaps, but I think the bigger reason why most people believe I’m a lot younger than I am is because I run half marathons and stay active; keep current, open minded and flexible; hang with all different ages; etc. I know an all-gray woman who seems very young because she’s so physically and mentally energetic. Actions speak louder than hair color!
Will it make you less invisible? Iffy, in my opinion. It will probably make you feel more confident and therefore more attractive to those who were likely to see you anyway. Then there are those who write off everyone over 30, long before most gray sets in. There isn’t a whole lot you can do to get their attention and I’d debate whether they’re worth your time anyway, but I’m not gonna lie: the reduced buzz does sting a little bit at first. Eventually though, I found it freeing to focus less on external validation and more on things that really matter. (Which if you’re like me, was kind of a funny thing because I didn’t realize how dependent I was on that validation until so much of it was gone!)
Bottom line: do what you want but do it for you and don’t have unrealistic expectations. And having read a lot of your stuff now, let me just say this: you are an amazing lady regardless of hair color!