I generally avoid these debates and go about my merry way, because I’m a peaceful kinda gal and I usually don’t have much of the backstory — nor do I generally care to. I’m here in Medium because of the amazing writing and the (most of the time) sense of community. When I’m spoiling for a fight, I have three teenagers already here. That said…
I want debate: not just welcome, but embrace. I am open minded enough that if someone I respect were to challenge even my deepest seated views, in a forum of mutual respect, I would listen, consider, and possibly even alter my position. At the very least, I would hope that two smart, caring people could agree to disagree and move on. The big difference is fighting vs. debating. It’s not only okay but actually healthy to debate — it’s how we learn and grow. Fighting and just plain badmouthing, not so much and no thank you.
If we return to the abortion example that seems to be a part of the discussion, I can say that I have strong opinions about it but I can see where both sides have valid points. I’ve also seen both sides be so incredibly mean it was mind boggling. That is completely unproductive.
Solutions are rarely found when the rhetoric is so divisive and disrespectful. Yes, there are topics with no middle ground, such as pedophilia. But the vast majority do, when we take the time to understand where the other person is coming from.
Hope my comments aren’t way off base without the deep dive. :-)