An Open Letter Of Apology To All Americans — From The Constituents Of Jason Chaffetz
Kaz Weida

Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself! If we in North Carolina were forced to apologize for our evil scumbag politicians, we would never have time to do anything else! There’s pretty much no race, religion or any other group here that our elected officials have not bashed. Who cares if none of the sports Associations or companies are willing to come here anymore? Why pay the teachers when they will just educate those ungrateful poor people anyway? Maybe we can gerrymander even where we’ve already gerrymandered! And let’s hold a special secret session in the middle of the night where the public and the other party can’t participate. Even better, if the people manage to vote in a governor from the other party, we will hold a secret session so that we can cut all of his powers before he ever gets into office. Yeah, we are a special kind of something down here. I used to say I wasn’t sure whether I was an atheist or just agnostic, but I surely now believe in the devil at least.

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