Ré, this makes me so sad. There is no “trouble of you”; you are a super kind and special person and I am always so happy to see your name pop up in my feed.
Please always remember that if people don’t respond in a happy, positive manner, it is their problem — not a problem with you. If someone is racist, it isn’t a problem with you or your black skin, it’s their inability to see. If they cannot understand the pain of your depression, they are too absorbed with their own pain. If they cannot return a smile, they are out of touch with their own humanity.
I have a bad habit of taking on others’ pain as my own. I know you are the same way. It is good and bad, it is exhausting. Please take care of you and tell yourself often: you are special.