To start with a total non sequitor, I just love the details about bacon in the freezer and the coveted tomato plant! That’s the kind of stuff that makes her (and you!) so real and interesting.

So, a couple of things. First is on the non-biological part of the equation, and my own experiences which may or may not be helpful to you. My best friend growing up had psycho parents and so in high school she came to live with us. Both my parents Adored her, and did everything in their power to make her feel like the much beloved member of the family that she was. She stayed close through most of college and then I think the pain of her upbringing became too much and she just kind of fell off the map. It broke my mother’s heart. I was (am?) very angry about it, but the truth is also that my family would forgive her in a heartbeat if she came back because that’s just what family does.

My current family is also big on foreign exchange students — our third such daughter arrives in a couple of weeks! We originally thought it would be a “great experience” for them and for my own daughters, but the reality has been that they are now very much our children too! Let me just tell you that it is very hard having daughters that are a thousand miles away, and we talk or message almost every day. Point is, I totally get how you’d feel insecure about not being a biological child, but I can assure you as a mom that biology is completely irrelevant. (And for that matter, language, geography…)

My other point is as to whether you really are a “writer.” Yeah, the love of your mother has no doubt been and continues to be a driving force. (Even those of us who grew up with our biological moms know that one — mine was an English teacher!) And we are an insecure group in general; have you been reading the various “why I write” posts?!? But your desire to “just be good” says it all. You’re not writing “just” for your mom, you’re writing because you’re driven.

Lastly, just for clarity’s sake. I am reasonably well read, and I’ve enjoyed reading the various writers on Medium the past few months. When I say you’re all that, I mean you are heads and shoulders above almost anyone out there.

I don’t mean to embarrass you! Only to support and encourage one of the greatest talents I’ve read in years. Happy weekend. :-)