Your fat friend doesn’t feel fat.
Your Fat Friend

Well written, but I’m torn on this one. Don’t we all own the right to our own feelings? Even when I had cancer, I didn’t expect my friends not to complain about their colds, and being fat really isn’t That Bad — seriously. No matter what society tells you.

Here’s my situation so that you know where I’m coming from. By the numbers, I fall solidly in the “fat camp” these days. Back when I was coming out of high school, I thought I was fat but in retrospect I was “medium.” In-between for many years I was thin, but I felt just as fat. While it’s entirely likely that I may have stated that “I feel fat” during any one of those phases, and to any given one of my friends, here’s the thing: I don’t really think about my loved ones as fat or thin. It’s not that I’m oblivious, it’s just that their size is pretty irrelevant compared to whether I can trust them, I appreciate their opinion, I enjoy their company. Plus, let’s be honest: most of America is fat is these days. So are we going by “degrees of fat,” or can we just call a spade a spade?

While I’d like to lose a size or two so that I could run a faster half marathon, my size is just one of my many traits. I’m smart, I’m funny, a hard worker, and all sorts of things that trump my weight. Society can say that it’s one of our most important traits, but my reality says that it just isn’t so. My marriage is as happy as it ever was, my friendships are as tight, my life is wonderful. So I’m all about being sensitive, but being fat just isn’t an area I choose to worry about. I’ll bet there’s all sorts of s*** you’re good at too (starting with writer!) — why don’t we just focus on that?