Why Modern Relationships Fail. (Not really)
The internet as of late is a potluck of do’s, don’ts and lists that supposedly help you get your life back on track and lose 10lbs while you’re at in (sometimes in that particular order.) I came across a similar list today, shared and appreciated by several friends and because I’m sick at home, I figured, what better way to waste my time and destroy a few brain cells than by giving this particular list a chance.
It was a simple article.
A fairly lengthy list of reasons why “kids today” are so unsuccessful at sticking to relationships. An explanation of why modern day romance is a recipe for failure.
There were the usual romance-ruining culprits; mainly social media, lack of direct communication, high expectations and the gradual decay of old-fashioned “standards,” “morals” and “values.” The article, despite being dotted with colourful stock images of people in love, painted a pretty bleak picture of the generation I belong to.
I’m not saying we’re perfect.
Oh no, we’re not.
Yes, there are times when we’ve all stared at #RelationshipGoals images and wondered when our “bae” is going to surprise us with a hundred roses and a diamond ring from some hideously overpriced store. We’ve seen pictures of our coupled-up friends (so blissfully and blindly in love!) and either puked or pined for the same sort of relationship. And when the two ticks on Whatsapp or Messenger turn blue and remain ignored, we’ve all gritted our teeth and gone, “Fine, ignore me then. I h8 U 2.” (Well, maybe not all of us, but you get the picture.)
And then there are some of us who shun the idea of romantic cliches and move towards grander ideals like flash mob proposals or weddings on secluded private islands instead of handwritten love letters and a box of chocolates. And others who are blissfully floating in bubbles, far far away from the public eye. But you know what? That’s fine.
Back to the article.
It mentioned the unrealistic and often unnecessary “romance culture” which the current generation has been sucked into and blamed the need for “popularity” and “likes” being a reason that overwhelms the true meaning of romance. Apparently, we have forgotten what love is; we’re too liberal, too enamored by wanderlust and instant gratification to understand the patience, dedication and commitment that comes with a serious, long-term affair of the heart. Apparently we look for excitement and forget the responsibilities in life; we don’t seek permanent partners, just someone to share the moment with, post a picture, etc. We expect perfection because we forget that we are all, humbly human.
Wow.
To whoever wrote those words.. I respect your opinion but I hope you know that, there are some of us (and I’d like to say, most of us) who don’t care if our relationship status hasn’t been updated on Facebook.
I hope you know that my friends in long-distance relationships are destroying the concept of “instant gratification” and have successfully been doing so for years.
I hope you know that while everyone I know wants to travel, most of us would like to travel with someone by our side or at the very least, have someone to return to.
I hope you realize that some of us are in it for the long-haul; we are serious in what we do, we have plans, we have goals.
And for those of us who can’t see too far in the future, I hope you realize how much we value the person sticking by our side in the exciting, evolving present.
And no.. we’re not too* busy, all* the* time*.
I hope you understand that we don’t always want to spend our time surrounded by people; most of us like time alone with our partner, much more than sitting in a crowded room.
I hope you come to terms with the fact that while we are now quite liberal in our ways, that doesn’t always make us irresponsible or unreasonable.
I hope you know that some of us don’t expect much from our lovers; we don’t need expensive shoes or a date at a swanky restaurant, we’re millennials; take us out for a koththu and iced-milo and we’re good to go.
I hope you find it in yourself to appreciate how vibrant, creative and different love has become today. Sure we have our ups and downs, we’re going to break up and make up and mess up. But we’re keeping the love alive.
Look past the Facebook posts and Instagram pictures, ignore the hashtags and temporary trends to understand that beneath all of that, good love still exists..
..and always will.
P.S. Give love a chance. ♡
Love,
Shesha.
