Great article. I have struggled with this too.
I especially like the part about anger being a residual feeling when boundaries are systematically ignored.
When I started learning how to heal my chronic illness I found a lot of anger there, largely at myself as well as a lot of feelings of being a victim.
I am learning how to stop being ashamed of my anger and how to set boundaries. Sometimes I slip. Sometimes I go back.
Doing it can feel extremely challenging and uncomfortable sometimes, but I am doing it and that’s what matters.
Thank you for addressing such an interesting subject and for doing so comprehensively and deftly.