my birth control is good until I’m 45. gulp.

you know when you go to the dmv and wait in line just to get a ticket and watch some screen for several hours hoping to see your number pop up? it’s like the world’s worst lottery.

when it does, you wait in another line, of course. that one leads to paperwork with more redundancies than a bowl of spaghettios.

and ah, finally, a last line where they do their best to snap a photo of you with no warning such that you not only look partially surprised but like you’re having difficulty swallowing, as well.

of course, there are no redos and even if they do signal you on the first attack, I really only have two posed expressions no matter how hard I try: JC Penney or bitch face. (seriously, there’s nothing in between)

sigh. my license is definitely the former. *cheese*

but anyway, there’s this moment where you examine your new i.d. — maybe complain aloud to yourself that the state is getting cheaper and this one “can’t possibly” last as long — and then you notice the expiration.

and then you do the math.

for me, this is always an interesting moment.

when we relocated back to Nashville from Chicago and I turned over my Illinois license for my second Tennessee i.d., I was taken aback that it was good through 2024.

8 years.

if my life were a tv show, this would be the part where chimes softly ran up and down the scale and the picture began to swirl as my mind imagined exactly where I’d be then.

so many possibilities! — so many unknowns! — dang, I’m hungry. how long was I in there? Siri, find the closest Taco Bell.

you get the gist.

and so, picture my surprise when I walk out of the doctor’s office after getting an iud (wayyyyyy more on this process in a more private forum if you have questions…see, Mom, I don’t write about everything on here!) and the nurse hands me an appointment card for the same day, only in 2029.

for so many reasons, I wish I were kidding.

  1. seriously?! who uses appointment cards anymore??

1b. who hangs on to one for 12 years?!!

2. can I see that pamphlet again because I did not read it closely enough the first time!

3. how old will I be in 2029?

And suddenly, I said to myself (loudly)…”45?!?! Ho-leeeeee shit.”

after I assured the nurse and the doctor and the receptionist that I was fine, I went to my car where I sat staring at that date.

my mind went completely blank.

but then a thought popped into my head: where was I 12 years ago today?

pre marriage, pre kids, pre iCal — guys, I didn’t have a clue! zero recollection. I mean, I could probably check my taxes to at least pull an address but the whole thing just made me start laughing like a crazy person alone in a parked car.

ultimately, I did two things:

  1. opened my Amazon app and immediately ordered a 5-year Q&A journal. each night, I open the page with today’s date, fill in the year, and answer the question listed below. tonight, it had me list off some items in my fridge. random? yep. but it makes me smile and feel like the time isn’t just slipping away without record.
  2. drove to Taco Bell. because I was hungry. again. come on, you saw that one coming ;)

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