Just another sexual harassment story

Shilpa Prasad
Jul 30, 2017 · 4 min read
It’s raining men! Hallelujah!

As the dust settles on the stories that came forward in the past few weeks about sexual harassment in the tech world, my mind seems unable to rest. Personally, this to me is a bigger issue, an issue that exists in every industry not just the tech world. However, I do want to say thank you to all the awesome women founders that have truly inspired the likes of me and many more to reflect back and think about what we can do to make a difference? So thank you Ellen Pao, Gesche Haas, Susan Fowler, Sarah Kunst, Susan Wu, Niniane Wang, Susan Ho and Leiti Hsu, Katrina Lake, Lindsay Meyer, and so many others. I feel compelled to tell my story and even more compelled to help other women that will possibly continue to deal with it.

The Unknown: As a 21 year-old college graduate equipped with dreams and possibilities in her eyes, I have just left home in pursuit of a career in the tech world in the Silicon Valley of India. An awesome startup, cutting edge technology, great weather, fun colleagues and a do or die attitude. What could possibly go wrong? On day 2 of my being there I received via an internal messaging system various messages from a super boss propositioning me to meet for a drink after work. Worse still, he was married and about to have his first baby! At that time not only did I not realize that this is what sexual harassment could also look like, quite honestly I did not know what to do about it. I was possibly too scared to tell anyone about it, let alone HR, and continued to deal with it for the next 6 months as best as I could until perhaps he found his next new victim.

The Known Unknown: Fast forward a few years later, a 25 year -old entrepreneur is born (I tried my hand at running a graphic design studio 3HEAD design) and for the first time experienced what power, money and control could look like while I was raising funds and growing a business. My experience here just like tons of other women, was men wanting to assert power and control in sometimes subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways — moving to a different table from the one where I was already seated at the coffee shop, or touching my back in a way only I know was inappropriate.

So why did I chose to be silent for 17 years?

Scared, Embarrassed, Angry, Frustrated, Ashamed, Shocked are all valid reasons. These past few weeks have been nerve racking and particularly hard. Reading all the stories and applauding these awesome women for having the courage to speak up has also brought back all kinds of ugly feelings and emotions that were buried somewhere deep inside of me.

Almost every woman I have spoken to in the light of this issue — be it a founder, investor, public sector employee, artist, writer, painter, pilot, architect all of us have experienced sexual harassment in some form or the other, and though to some my encounters may not seem as hard hitting as the others, I am determined to create change.

What does change look like? How can I make a difference to the society at large and more specifically my fellow women here in Silicon Valley and everywhere in the world? I find myself asking this question over and over again.

Awareness is key: Knowing and understanding what can be deemed as sexual harassment is the first step. Under Title VII there are two recognized types of sexual harassment — 1) quid pro quo and 2) hostile work environment.

Say No: This is not easy! While this is the most difficult act for most victims of harassment, it is ultimately the most effective method of ending the behavior.

Voice your opinion: and continue to do so until someone hears you and is able to make a change.

Believe: that change is possible even if the situation looks bleak at the moment.

Belong: to a community where we can equip one another with the tools to deal with the likes of Dave Mclure, Justin Baldeck or Chris Sacca and many others.

In my mind, the turning point opportunity lies in the fact that enough women have now spoken up and taken risks that it is likely to have two effects:

1) Exponentially more women will speak up, consequently lowering the overall risk for everyone (i.e. for every one person that speaks up, 3 more are encouraged = spreads like ripples)

2) The consequences of harassment are now more obvious and serious, i.e. less men in power will take those risks

If both of those effects happen to just some extent, we will be able to look back on the NYT piece as the turning point.

Can we make this a turning point for all of us?

Join me on Wednesday, Aug 2nd, 2017 at Parisoma (SF) where I am hosting four amazing women Adriana Gascoigne (CEO & Founder, Girls In Tech) , Rebeca Hwang (Co-founder & Managing Partner, Rivet Ventures), Michelle Messina (Author of Decoding Silicon Valley) and Anne Cocquyt (CEO at the Guild) in a candid chat about how we can educate both men and women on what to do and what not to do.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/sexual-harassment-in-tech-is-this-the-turning-point-tickets-36113907670?aff=ehomecard