Being Immature

I wish myself to remain immature. Well, I have encountered this word so many times till date that it has become an integral part of my life.

Acquaintances with immaturity started in the childhood itself. I deliberately used to talk (act) immaturely, foolishly and sometimes in a nonsensical way just to uplift the moods of the surrounding familiar people. People used to laugh at my stupid talks & I used to enjoy the happiness around.

One of my close friends, with all good purpose in his heart, advised me to stop acting like that and behave little maturely.

After few years:

Imitating WWE superstar moves with pillows or discussing keenly about reproductive system of human bodies by referring to senior’s biology textbook was a cult those days. Frantically collecting WWE cards or eagerly waiting to know about “how exactly sex happens?” was considered as an act of high magnitude of immaturity.

Again few years passed:

Somehow, with all courage gathered, I confronted my love for her. Well, I couldn't say anything properly but she understood what I meant to say. I wished we had that kind of rapport in every sphere of our life .We talked rarely & hardly there was any emotional intimacy between us, but there was something that allured me every time. I could not cite out the individual characteristics of her which made me fall for her.

I felt an unknown pain whenever I saw her with someone else. The fact that someone is occupying my position pained me so much that it is quite hard to explain.

She advised me to be matured and stop thinking about this. Behave as if those things are not affecting you.

Again few years passed:

I aspired of achieving my big dream; I was ready to put in all monstrous efforts to sterilize all the negatives within me which will help to achieve my goal.

Many suspected my capabilities & background; advised me to be little matured & set a goal keeping a reality check of my skills and background.

Even after all this, I love to speak my heart out; behave/talk in a utterly foolish or nonsensical way amidst familiar people; ready to fall for someone & willingness to achieve big in my life.