think you’re mentally strong?
looking good in front of others doesn’t cut it
Don’t lie, you totally try to act happy when you’re not and try to act tough when you’re crumbling inside.
I had a moment last week where I refused.
I refused to accept the pain that I have carried with me from my childhood.
The only way I can describe the pain is that it’s worse than childbirth. Yes, worse than birthing another human... and I have three kids (so I know what I’m talking about).
It’s one of those things that‘s way easier to just bury. Or ignore. Pretend it’s not there.
And so I have. For many, many years.

Letting go…
…the hardest part was making myself vulnerable.
Learn from pain, and take the opportunity to become better.
Some people act fake because they believe it is in their best interest. I acted fake because that’s the only way I could keep it together.
I acted tough. I acted strong. I acted happy. I acted confident.
Was I mentally strong?
Do you consider yourself mentally strong? Are you actually able to keep it together or is it a show? Here’s the big question. Are you the same person alone as you are with others?
The 3 signs that indicate you may be mentally weak:
- Self worth fluctuates with others’ opinions. (I am so guilty of this.) A colleague recently told me she realized at the moment she held her child, that everyone inherently has value. You don’t need to do anything or prove anything to deserve love and self-worth. Now if I could only actually feel this in real life…
- Continuously denying pain. This was one was tough for me because I’d been carrying all this pain that I was not aware of. It was hiding and I needed therapy to bring it out. Always give yourself time to grieve for yourself, for others. Crying is always OK.
- Controlling other people — or thinking we can control them. I like to blame myself for my kids misbehavior. But why? They are their own little beings and we should acknowledge that our job is parents is to lovingly guide them along their life’s journey. Not to try and control them and their behavior.
Honesty consists of the unwillingness to lie to others; maturity, which is equally hard to attain, consists of the unwillingness to lie to oneself.
~Syndey J. Harris
Are you willing to face yourself with the truth? That trying to be strong in front of others is actually a sign of weakness? It’s time to stop lying to ourselves.
Here are three practical things you can do for starters:
- Don’t justify, blame or shame yourself . “He wouldn’t have gotten upset if I didn’t say anything.” Stop as soon as you notice it. You can’t control how others feel, but you can control how you do.
- Talk through your feelings with yourself, spouse or friend. Just take a few moments and FEEL them — how it’s physically affecting your body. Your emotions are trying to tell you something.
- Say, “I am worthy to be loved, exactly the way I am.” Say it like you mean it, in front of a mirror. The first time I tried this, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It’s way harder than it sounds. But try it, and let me know how it felt.
The goal is to be the same person you are with yourself, as you are with others. We all want to look good. But you deserve a better life.
Here’s to being mentally strong. You are tough enough. Let’s do this together.
❤
