A Chef and A Mom
Jul 30, 2017 · 4 min read

Is spanking a child ok?

As a stay at home or working parent, we all feel tired and overburdened with our daily chores and responsibilities. If your kid in the midst of a tiring schedule is demanding/unruly, he is automatically pushes the wrong buttons and is in for serious trouble.

But does spanking really solve the problem? Yes, it may scare your kid for a while. He/she may back off for a while or may even start behaving worser after the spanking. Some may actually vouch for spanking occasionally, recollecting that they too had been spanked in their childhood. But the question is, do we actually feel better after speaking our kids? Of course not. No one does. We all regret it.

So how do we handle a demanding child? ‘Engaging’ a demanding child is the key to monitor and gradually change unwanted traits. Here are certain pointers I think would help:

1.Create boundaries for kids but also set them free:

Well for babies, there are no real boundaries that you can set and there is nothing much you can do about it. But as your child grows into a toddler it’s important to make him realise which things around the house belongs to him and which dont. Its easier said than done. But it should become easy after regular practice. Teach them to handle certain things in the house with care.

Your kid will still be demanding your iPad or smartphone, despite having their own(which is very common these days). So getting them their own gadgets is not the way out.

Try to realise the potential in your kid.What does he like to do? What interests him on a regular basis? Each kid will shows early signs of his interests.

If he likes to draw, allot one single wall in his own room for him to draw. He has to learn to be more disciplined in his passion and hence start from the wall and not a canvas to begin with. When he gets more serious about his passion, get him enrolled in a class which can further enhance his skills. Likewise for other interests too.

2.Try not to be judgemental based on the gender of your kid:

If your son loves cooking let him start off by helping you prep for a meal, may be even the day guests are expected to arrive. Share the credit for a good meal with him. Let your child know that his parents want him to follow his passion and are supportive of his choices. Likewise for a daughter too. Do not bind them by stereotypical roles.

3. It is ok to fail:

Teach your kids earlier on in life that it is ok to fail once in a while. Learn from the mistakes and move on.Try everything he ever wanted to without having any resentments later. A kid has to be educated about wrongful addictions in life and why he needs to stay away from them. Sports are the best practice grounds for this purpose and teaches your child a lot.

Criticizism/spanking a child on failing only makes a child reserved and under-confident. There are classes for every problem these days; even for issues like fears of public speaking. Enroll your kid for the right program in his spare time or as a summer holiday activity so he can overcome his fears.

I have often come across parents citing examples of blue collared workers or the underprivileged ones to teach or rather scare their children against evils of not studying and co-relating education with success. This is by far the most disgusting way to educate your child. While your child has to realise that education is important,he need not look down on people doing lesser privileged jobs as losers.

Remember, character still matters along with talent.

4.Avoid sibling rivalry:

If sibling rivalry is your problem, inculcate healthy competition instead of comparisons. Comparison only harnesses jealousy and bitter rivalry. You obviously want your kids to stand by each other in future,so teach them that they are on the same side of the team (family) and not against each other. Spanking one in front of another only creates ego issues between them.

5.Grandparents and mythology to the rescue:

Though we followed mythologies religiously or not when we were little, try deriving lessons from mythological stories. Some of them are a treasure house of wisdom for a parent and a kid.Also make sure your kid visits grandparents regularly, as they too are a great source of wisdom for your kids.

6. Increase the quality time with your demanding child:

Watch a movie or solve a puzzle together. Have fun while engaging your child in the household chores. Reward him for good work done and praise him whenever it’s needed.

These small steps you take would mean a lot to your child. After all they need to know that they mean the world to us!

These were a few pointers I feel that can help any parent for a lifetime to ‘spare the stick' and try a different approach to parenting.

Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment.

A Chef and A Mom

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passionate about topics relating to kids,family and ofcourse easy cooking!