52 Theme Weeks for Your Food Publication

Because theme weeks are fun and drive traffic and never get tiresome for readers

  1. Breakfast
  2. Lunch
  3. Dinner
  4. Brunch
  5. Linner (lunch+dinner)
  6. Snacks, Savory
  7. Cakes
  8. Pies
  9. Cake vs. Pie because that is an endless debate with no stakes but high passion.
  10. Asian Food because Americans have no sense of geography and can’t be asked to distinguish cultures.
  11. Coffee but not like what Saveur is doing because this is not a subtweet they are doing great with their theme week. Probably. Don’t know. Haven’t read.
  12. Beer and Brats and Why Did Dad Have to Yell So Much Week
  13. Shake Shack week.
    Alt if you work at the NYT: Shack Shack week.
  14. Squash Week. All the squashes. With a visual guide. No gratins.
  15. Childhood Foods Week because I want to write about my love of Chef Boyardee pizza and the grated cheese in a can.
  16. Butchering Week. Just a bunch of sexy butcher pics plus that one pic of April Bloomfield with a dead animal wrapped over her shoulders.
  17. Ice cream week. Just interviews with @biggayicecream and @jenisicecreams plus five recipes for hot fudge.
  18. Cocktail week which gets shoved aside for “We Don’t Tip Here Anymore” week.
  19. Southern Food Week which turns into a meditation on grits and lots of bushy beards and pics of emotionally strong women.
  20. American Diner Week. Diner food. Also pics of “real” people. Essentially a rehash of Southern Food Week but more calico prints.
  21. Bittman Week. Long lectures filled with stats about our food production and distribution plus seven ways to make mediocre pasta.
  23. Popsicle Week which turns into multiple explanations of what paletas are.
  24. Cereal Week. All kinds of cereals. Cereals. Where they comes from. The weird story of graham crackers. Cereals. So many cereals.
  25. Serial Week. Things you can make in the parking lot of a Best Buy where the phone should be. Also, prison vending machine recipes.
  26. Stoner Week. Late night foods. Deep fried nachos. Weed in baked goods. Mushrooms. A lot of queso.
  27. Doughnut Week. At least two opinion pieces on Doughnuts vs. Donuts. Required to do a profile of @FederalDonuts.
  28. Cookbook Week. Do you have a cookbook coming out we will run your press release cuz we need content. This is vacation week for editors.
  29. Sex and Food Week. Lots of English cucumber/peaches talk, innuendo, and think pieces that include the words “dickhole” and “cum bucket.”
  30. Fast Food Week. And go fuck yourself.
  31. Barbecue Week. Lectures on NC style vs St Louis vs Texas vs no one cares just post a pulled pork sandwich with coleslaw on top.
  32. The Week When We Pretend To Care About People Who Don’t Have Enough To Eat And This Is A Very Special Week That Makes Us Feel Good.
  33. Grandmother Week. Grannies and the special foods they made and heritage and one sad essay from someone whose g’ma was mean.
  34. Christmas cookies but HOLIDAY COOKIES so it is inclusive, ok? But really, they’re Christmas cookies.
  35. Rene Redzepi Does Something Really Anything It Doesn’t Matter It Is Full Of Intent And Craft And Also Maybe A Little Weird Week.
  36. Noodles Week. Cool noodles and their origins (China, Jesus, we get it) and that one kind of noodle where the guy beats them on a table.
  37. Emoji Food Week. Every food emoji gets its own very personal essay written by very famous food writers and chefs and also millennials.
    All of these stories are shared exclusively on Snapchat. Engagement is very high.
  38. Ancient Grains Week. Readership plummets. Editors and writers are fired. Food journalism dies.The freekeh remains.
  39. Hamburger Week which is 1,000 references to a Jucy Lucy and three veggie burgers and also a single mention of feed lots.
  40. Slow Cooker Overnight Oatmeal Week.
  41. Sandwiches Week. Telling the individual and very personal stories of sandwiches. We will never be the same. We are better people.
  42. A Thing That Is Very Well Known Somewhere Else But NYC Just Up And Fucking Decided To Make It The Most Important Thing Ever Week.
  43. Fudge Week.
  44. Muffin Week. Because everyone should have a signature muffin. What’s yours? Post it on Instagram and tag it #SigMuff.
  45. Little House on the Prairie Week. Pig bladders. Maple syrup on snow. Hasty pudding. Please someone do this week for real.
  46. Pickle Week. Every kind of pickle. Put a GoPro inside of a pickle barrel so readers can “be a pickle.” Have a pickle juice cocktail. Cry.
  47. Condiment Week. Features a homemade ketchup recipe that readers call “upsetting and gross.”
  48. Haribo Week. Again, please make this one happen.
  49. Cheese week. So much cheese. In a sad oversight, cottage is left out and won’t talk to anybody because it is sick of this shit.
  50. A week focused on the workers who grow and harvest our food because would it kill you to write about something that matters?
  51. Breakfast for Dinner Week. Isn’t that fun? Isn’t life full of patterns and breaking tradition and expectations and pancakes?
  52. No One Will Remember Any Of Us When We Are Dead Taco Week.
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