Disturbing truth

Shivani Kohli
Sep 2, 2018 · 3 min read

“We show our children violent movies with beheadings, heinous murders, and terror attacks. But we make them shut their eyes in kissing scenes and censor the word Sex in our movies.” Someone said this to me a couple of months ago and I was surprised, for he was right. I had never previously realized that I would regularly watch WWE matches where people would break their necks but quickly change the channel if I saw someone kiss on tv as a child. I still do that when my parents are around …

We as a society think its okay for our children to indulge in violence but intimacy is a big NO. I do agree teenage pregnancy is scary but not educating children about it is not the way to deal with it. I believe in our urge to avoid talking about sex we forget to talk about sex education and more importantly sexual assaults. My friends who are adults have still not been taught what accounts as assault, but they were taught the exact location of the rivers of India.

I still remember I was six years old when my mother sat my brother and me down to explain what counted as sexual assault. In this talk, not only did she tell me situations which were red flags but also my brother. Yes, I was young but she empowered me. My mom said, “Shivani if anyone ever keeps their hand on your thigh and it makes you uncomfortable I don’t care who this person is, tell me.” Ironically, two days after my mom explained this to me at a family function an uncle mid conversation put his hand on my thigh, he was not trying to be inappropriate but it made me uncomfortable so I yelled mommy. He was so freaked out by this incident he avoided me for a couple of years while I felt empowered.

Her speech not only had a positive impact on my life but my brother’s friends lives, too. He not only learned how to treat women but also intervene in situations. As a teenager he bailed out girls from uncomfortable situations, situations they at that time didn’t realize were wrong but he had been taught were wrong.

From my experience talking to multiple people (men and women) who have been assaulted, I have learned the biggest issue that arises is they are unaware of what is happening is wrong and therefore do not realize the impact at that moment but years later the same incident haunts them. It leaves traces in their consciousness which follow them in all aspects of their lives.

It is sad to hear the number of kids assaulted in India that you hear about on the news everyday. Some stats I got from the govt of India’s website.

Majority of the times children are attacked by someone known. Meaning, often they do not tell anyone because they are told not to. Why wouldn’t they listen to someone they trust? Especially if they don’t know any better?

Many times my friends (guys and girls) share incidents where they were assaulted but did not realize or even worse they assaulted someone. I think that’s whats crazy about our world; we scream and shout about how unsafe this world is but what are we doing? Are we educating our friends, family, and kids? Are we teaching our children how to protect themselves?

Shivani Kohli

Written by

Bubble tea and dog enthusiast

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