That Jubilee Trans Liberals Vs. Conservatives Debate Was a Dumpster Fire. Plus A Note On Validation
It’s been one week and my head’s still ringing. I’ve subscribed to Jubilee’s YouTube channel for quite a while, and that now infamous debate trans liberals vs. conservatives was an absolute dumpster fire. I’m a liberal and I agreed with the conservative side because I felt like there was much more common sense… Blaire White was not the problem, it was Alexander (whom I call Boy George Jr, because his get up was ridiculous and well, that makeup screams Boy George, circa 1984) and Blossom C. Brown who I found the most irritating. Sara Higdon and I think her name was Jennifer were so level headed — as was Shane on the liberal side.
I was a bit puzzled by Alexander’s inclusion as he is non binary, and not transgender or transsexual. I have zero problems with anyone identifying however they wish, but the term non binary seems kind of strange to me. If you are a person with a beard, and wear a dress, claim trans as self ID; expect disbelief when you use the women’s bathroom and women feeling uncomfortable. Passing is important to me, but it is not as important to other people and that’s fine because everyone is free to express as they wish, just don’t have expectations. I remember when the term “gender fucking” was used to indicate ambiguity or blending a male and female look. To me, Alexander was gender fucking, but trans? I’m not sure. He said he was on HRT for a year but shows no signs of MTF hormone changes. In my case, certain changes were noticeable after a few weeks. At the start of my own medical transition 3 years ago from male to a transsexual woman, I used the term non binary, but things always fall into a binary. Non binary simply is not having traits as male, or female, not wishing to identify ones’ self as such. A person can choose most certainly to identify as having a blend of male and female traits, but it simply cannot escape biology. I pass as a female in every day life, hormonally and socially I am a woman, but biogically no: I will always be a biological male and I am ok with that! I’m not sure why he took the place of another transsexual person. I thought his way of attempting to roll over Blaire, and tell her what being a transsexual woman is, was disrespectful at best and extremely condescending — it was very sexist in its aim in mansplaining.
Nothing was worse though then Blossom using the race card, and why did she pick on Andrew when she is far bigger than him? Is she using being a trans woman as a cover for being a bully and justifies dominating people, that being a trans woman makes it ok? I think not.
I feel incredibly sad and have an impersonal sense of general compassion for Blossom because clearly she’s had a very troubled life. I can’t even imagine what it’s like growing up as a Black trans person in the deep south — I am mixed race (mother was white, father is Black) and was born and raised and live in New York, I’ve been very blessed to live here. I grew up in an open environment with my late mother who was always accepting. She always knew I wished to transition to female and if she was alive today, she would be incredibly accepting of me as her daughter. As someone half Black, Blossom playing the victim as a Black woman left a sour taste in my mouth. While racism is very real and I’ve experienced myself, I find that always blaming the inability to navigate the world on being Black is a cop out, it’s a shield to protect against one’s personal failings. I’ll use an example from my life. My father who is 75 and someone I do not have a relationship at this point in my life because of his emotional and psychological abuse, is an alcoholic.
Much of his failure to meet the responsibilities of being a decent human being is blamed on being Black almost 100% of the time. My father, also a native New Yorker, grew up in the 50’s as a young boy, and came of age doing social activism like my mother in the 60’s and 70’s. The terrain of being a Black man in the 1950’s and 60’s is no joke, the prejudice, the beatings etc… Has the tenor of anything really changed today? Not at all. The laws passed in the civil rights movement pay only lip service to a society that still reels from remnants of that time… but the majority of the mistakes in his lifetime, including having 7 other children by 4 women and leaving all of us, is not a consequence of his Blackness, but more so his failure as a person, and reliving his trauma. I make this point because it was just wrong for Blossom to lash out at Blaire, using an apparent racial slur edited out by Jubilee, and physically threatening her. The drama caused by Blossom and Alexander’s glib comments are just deplorable human behavior. They are people who are hungry and fighting spirits in Buddhism unaware of where their behavior will take them in their next lifetime.
I do not agree with Blaire’s political views in any way, but I do agree with her on trans issues, and I find her incredibly funny, and I’m sure if I met her in person we’d have a lot more in common than different. Ms. Brown’s lashing out at Blaire’s whiteness, not realizing she is mixed white and Latina was beyond the pail, and something out of her own personal pain. The follow up video from Shane, Alexander and Blossom where they bash Blaire pretty much was unnecessary drama and lacking couth to the nth degree. It solves nothing. If Blossom cried at Blaire calling her ugly, then she needs to take a hard look inside, and validate herself not seek outside validation and I think that’s a huge issue in the trans community.
A Note on Validation
A few months ago, something miraculous happened. As a transsexual woman I stopped seeking validation. It’s been INCREDIBLE. I’m not sure how it happened but I began to just not care what people think. Even when people call me sir on the phone or occasionally in public, I no longer correct them. I am not self centered enough to think the world revolves around me — and that was tough. It wasn’t always like that. Because I’ve grown up with cerebral palsy and in a wheelchair, when you grow up with a disability highly visible like that, sometimes I would think the world should kowtow to my every demand. The real world is not like that. Misgendering doesn’t mean shit to me anymore if someone does it because a) those people don’t know my journey and b) it’s a momentary interaction, the delivery person, a cashier, it doesn’t matter. Even some of the closest people in my life like my aunt, my mom’s sister, she has trouble getting used to the she/her thing because for 39 years I was a he. That stuff simply doesn’t matter. Being trans has never been an issue for me, it’s always been my disability more than that or my skin color. Any misgivings I’ve had about myself in past writings are momentary and I’ve grown past that. My articles have gotten a lot of hate from in the comment section, and some people have gone overboard in assaulting my character, who they think I am, but they don’t know me or know my journey so it means absolutely nothing. Haters gonna hate, that’s cool.
Hey… if Blaire and Blossom really wanna go at it, have Bob Arum, Oscar DeLaHoya, Premier Boxing Champions or Eddie Hearn promote that ish, put it on PPV and have the WBC craft a stupid belt for it. I’ll leave one last thought here: we are spirit… we are human beings having a spiritual experience, ultimately the body is temporal, it is fun to be able to look a certain way, but the body in the end doesn’t matter. Fin.
© 2023, Shizuka Sterns Morishita
