I tried to work today, could not. I kept getting lost in thought, checking twitter, becoming disturbed, becoming needfully disturbed.

I was worried going into the election. Trump’s chances were too high; even a 10% probability was not one I wanted to accept. I tried to assuage myself. I told myself the “good people” of the U.S. would come out and reject bigotry, or at least reject a wannabe proto-dictator with no government experience. I was wrong.

I have never been more afraid for the future of this country.

People talk about the ‘white working class’ delivering the victory for Trump. It was white people. White people of all classes. In NY, Trump won both Staten Island and Suffolk County; the rust belt just provided the margins. And now a white supremacist has gone from campaign strategist to chief strategist.

People I know have talked about buying guns. My natural first reaction was one of caution; a gun you own is more likely to kill you than protect you. Then, I thought about Trump’s level of support in law enforcement. What happens when the courts try to block Trump’s edicts? What law will enforced?

I thought about how fragile presidential systems have been throughout the Americas. How far are we, truly, from a white supremacist totalitarian state? I hope we are far, but what is keeping us far? The “good people”? I’m no longer sure enough of them exist.

I need to respond. To be a safe space for anyone who might need one; donate to and follow the Southern Poverty Law Center, the ACLU, the NAACP; call and write to representatives; find republicans and democrats who will hold Trump accountable and hold *them* accountable; organize; plan; focus. Focus. Read. Think. Keep doing until enough has been done and these thoughts are gone.

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