“Space Bootz” by Miley Cyrus is the ballad I never knew I needed.

Abbie Simons
Sep 5, 2018 · 2 min read

I saw the 2014 blockbuster movie “Interstellar.” I watch “Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey” featuring America’s sweetheart Neil DeGrasse Tyson. I read that short story by Ray Bradbury once where a girl stows away on a spaceship and ends up getting blown out the porthole when the captain realizes her weight has endangered the integrity of the meticulously administered fuel supply. Spoiler alert: she dies.

Anyways, space. I’m all about it.

So when I found myself perusing Miley Cyrus’ 2015 musical release “Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz,” I was instantly pulled in by the gravitational field (title. The title.) of the fifth track: “Space Bootz.” And I hated it. Immediately.

The track seemed to be a collection of arbitrarily made-up-on-the-spot chaotic super-filth, to put it nicely. Besides, “Space Bootz” contains sounds, lots of sounds, and I’ve heard from reliable sources that outer space contains no sound at all! I was furious. This song was 100% anti-space! Neil DeGrasse Tyson was rolling in his grave*!

But zeetis lapeedis, people, I decided to give “Space Bootz” another chance to rock my galaxy after hearing that it was written about Miley’s love affair with an actual astronaut. IKR? 2015 Miley totally would.

So I dove in, and my second listening of “Space Bootz” left me sucked into the blackest of holes, swirling soundlessly in its electro-balladic melody. Miley’s singing isn’t always stellar (oof), but what froze me was just how sincere these lyrics are.

It took me aback, once I noticed, and after that I couldn’t stop listening. The lyrics sound less like lyrics and more like a note you don’t send to someone who’s never coming back anyway. They’re hurt thrown into a void. They don’t care if they rhyme, they don’t even care if they make sense (much like 2015 Miley herself)— they just want to talk.

And “Space Bootz” talks. It rambles through heartbreak. It is a desperate signal sent spiraling into nowhere, a lonely Tesla landing on Mars, and I found myself missing this astronaut, this space dude. I ache for him every time I hear the song, which makes no sense for a lot of reasons. But I do.

I miss you, space dude. With your space boots. All the colors left with you.

– Babushka

*extremely plush bed, probably SleepNumber. He’s very much alive.

Abbie Simons

Written by

Yung monsta. Notorious flake. Wannabe everything.

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