21-Days-Fast Journal
This is an unedited version of my (almost) daily (Evernote) journal for the 21 days of fasting + 2 days of re-feeding. I did re-feeding for 10 days, but journal-ed just the first two days.
Since this is an unedited version, I’m putting down a few references of people & other things, to help in context building. Also, a fair warning: This is really unedited & raw — has talk of smelly poops & farts — so if you can’t stomach that, don’t go beyond!
Context Building:
- I did this 21-days long fast in 2020. On Day 1, I write, “This time I feel different” — that’s because I had done a 10-day fast before, in Oct., 2019.
- I cooked something almost everyday — for my parents — cooking helped me unwind.
- There was some construction work at our house during this time — you’ll find the mention of lintar on Day 5.
- On Day 6 my mom slept with me coz she was worried since I was low the whole day.
- WWRWTW Call — I’m a part of this powerful group of women from around the world who get together online once a fortnight to read together this amazing book called Women Who Run With The Wolves (WWRTW).
- NDC — Nalanda Diploma Course: I’m a student in this online course.
- Anuj — child of the woman who helps us with house chores.
- Ganesh — my guide throughout this journey. He’s an avid naturalist who turned to eco-therapy as a means to connect people back to nature and/or the self, & has been exploring different fields related to ecology, sustainability and health since 2009. I highly recommend him if you want to re-work your lifestyle — ganeshram@yoganoroga.com
- Kaiser — my baby, my dog — died when he was almost 13, we buried him within our compound itself.
- Zishan — saying he’s my husband doesn’t seem to justify our relationship — it’s so much more!
- Small Deaths Timeline — it’s an exercise where you look back at life & look at all the minor incidents where a part of you was deeply hurt.
- Radhika — I had started getting some real good 1.5 hour long massages end of 1st week onward — Radhika is a fine masseuse.
- Neha — a co-traveler in the WWRWTW group.
- Yoga TTC — Yoga Teacher Training Course.
- Meghna — a dear friend & co-traveler in wanting to do something meaningful in life.
Feb. 15th. Day 1
13:00 — This time I feel different about the fast. Today’s my first day — I can smell food quite strongly, and I feel quite hungry too! Let’s see how the day progresses!
14:15 — I feel the roaring in my stomach!
14:50 — hunger seems to have gone for now. Energy is still up.
Felt some hunger again around 19:40–20:00.
Have been doing a lot of mental work the whole day — WWRWTW call, NDC session with notes, reading!
Stomach growling at 20:45!
I also saw a lot of tv, till around 00:15.
Feb 16th. Day 2
7:55 — Got up around 7:30 — coz of some home chores. Didn’t feel sleepy much, so have stayed up. Was reading Gaia on phone. There was some slight headache before, now just again the hunger growls in my stomach.
14:13 — constant hunger pangs, but other than that I feel fine. Also, gas. A little smelly in the morning, odorless now. Again, have been reading.
Played catch and catch with Anuj a little, did some stretches, and a little walk! Feel quite energetic!
Feb 17th. Day 3
04:18 — Slept around 9 last night. Couldn’t sleep for a while, had been trying since 8–8:30. Got up at 04:00. No hunger pangs. Feel ok.
07:15 — Feeling off coz of gas + there’s a slight dizziness I think. I think I might have lost around 1–1.5 kgs
17:15 — Did the Pavanamuktasana as suggested by Ganesh — I think it’s helping with gas and heartbeat. Was mostly inside till about 2 — then went out to lie down in the sun — I think I felt re-energized after being in the sun. Played a little with the puppy next door, Motto!
Have been thinking of food off and on every time that I see fruits in the kitchen or smell food.
Feb 18th. Day 4
10:42 — I am realizing that sun is really giving me energy! Yesterday after lying in the sun whole afternoon I suddenly had more energy — I even cooked Cauliflower Fried Rice for folks — coz I’ve been wanting to cook for the last few days! And after that too I had energy — I watched an episode of Dark at night, then slept.
Woke up around 3 AM to pee — I’m realizing two other things: 1. Holding my pee leads to me feeling hungry, nauseous etc. 2. I’m low on energy the most when I wake up — just as I wake up! Right now I’m under the sun, and I feel pretty good! Have lost about 2 kgs in the last 3 days.
20:44 — We went to meet Daadi. Felt a little low in the ride back… But then was again energetic post lying in the sun. Put a malaai-curd-egg hair mask and then washed hair. And then made Vegetable stock as a ready to use ingredient + Vegan Lentil Salisbury Steak!
I’ve felt a burning sensation in my stomach 2–3 times today. Other than that mostly all good.
Feb 19th. Day 5
06:45 — I think I have started feeling more cold at nights. Though in the mornings it’s fine. Last night also I experienced gas discomfort — though only in the duration I got up to pee and the time it took me to go back to sleep. I’d gotten up around 01:45. Again morning getting up is a little low. Last night I could also hear my heart beat for sometime in the same duration I was up post 01:45, but it was no where as bad compared to the last time! It was probably for less than a minute, and then it went down.
17:25 — Today was a little off — I went up to see the lintar getting done — I think too much dust et al happened and I began feeling a lot of heaviness in my eyes + the sun today wasn’t strong and it was too windy — So I probably slept for around 3 odd hours in the afternoon. Then went out and sat in whatever little sun was there, where Kaiser is, at around 3:30–4. Was probably there for an hour or less. Then today just half hour back I felt the bile coming up, so induced vomiting. And I feel better post it.
Feb 20th. Day 6
9:25 — Last evening I made Potato-Sweet Corn-Smoked Cheddar Soup. Then just sat around with folks. Went to bed at around 9:30. Got up twice — at around 1:45ish and then 5:45ish. Both times took a while to fall back to sleep. Finally got up at around 7:30. My head is a little heavier than usual, and also feel colder than usual. I think I’m experiencing lack of sun. Let’s see how the day goes.
20:34 — mostly low the whole day, other than during the 45 min massage, and the bath later. I’m just feeling off mostly in my stomach maybe coz of no anema. Anyway, I still cooked — didn’t force myself — I really wanted to, and was upbeat (mostly) in that 40–50 min duration — though not as much as last few days cooking. And post that I vomited — first it was just acids I think, and then some bile — it was yellow, foul smelling, bitter-sweetish. I’m really cold these days, for obvious reasons. And my capacity for screen time is also going down. Tonight mama’s gonna sleep with me.
Feb 21st. Day 7
16:50 — Today seems to have been the worst of all days. I think it’s the lack of anema — the toxins aren’t getting an outlet. Mentally I feel better & sharper, but my stomach has now even begun to hurt a bit. I really don’t know what to do. It seems like torture. I’m trying to tell myself it’s the healing crisis, and the lack of anema which will be taken care of on 24th… But Ganesh was right — the more in discomfort your body is, the tougher it’ll be to fast. So change of strategy — now I’m looking at it as a 10 day fast coz 21 at this point seems way too daunting. On 10th day I’ll also have the anema kit, and I’ll see how that makes me feel. Then I’ll take it a day at a time — make it a 15 day fast. If I’m good on day 15, then make it 21. Yeah, that’s the most recent plan.
Feb 22nd. Day 8
19:50 — So, today I started having lemon-honey in hot water — Ganesh’s recommendation, and it was a totally different day! Not that I don’t feel weak, but I’m much more upbeat and alive, and the stomach issue is much less! I painted too today — and had a lot of realizations in that one painting — maybe it’s the 8–15 day clarity phase or may be it’s the lemon-honey — not sure. But it’s pretty cool! Then in the evening I made Creamy Roasted Cauliflower Soup — it was highly appreciated! I do feel weak, and 21 still feels daunting, but I feel better. Now I feel the 21 is all about my will power to stay off food!
16:50 — Finally enema happened! A lot of stink and shit came out! I definitely feel lighter, though I think I need more — so tomorrow morning, again. And then either alternate days or something. But I’m glad the kit came! Though my stomach is still a little upset — I’m guessing coz there’s just so much! Tomorrow will tell. Been weaker through the day than the days before. But theek hai. 5 more days is happening!
Feb 24th. Day 10
07:20 — Why did I not write yesterday? I wonder. I guess, I did think about writing once. But then just forgot. Let’s see what I did yesterday — some knitting, some cooking, more than some reading, reflected on the Small Deaths Timeline, did some profile updating on some sites, some thinking about what I want to be doing — so, yeah, a lot of mental work, I guess! Had 3 big glasses of Honey-Lemon. Was mostly ok. Definitely doing 5 days more, up to Day 15!
Today I feel a bit weak. Had a very dreamy night — so many dreams! It was lovely to feel Kaiser’s coat and lick. I feel my dreams during fasting make the dream things much more felt, physically.
I didn’t want to talk to Zishan today — too many little bickerings, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe we don’t have enough space between us — an hour every single day, maybe it’s becoming daal-roti.
Feb 25th. Day 11
09:40 — While I haven’t really been out of bed much yet, but today I feel good — energetic and non-weak!
Yesterday I got the enema kit, and had to do the procedure thrice! Which makes sense — this crap had been in my gut for the last 9 odd days! Maybe that’s also why I feel better! I think I need to sleep some more today. And maybe some more enema.
Feb 26th. Day 12
12:50 — Similar to yesterday — have been energetic! In fact, got out of bed early today — I’m realizing I don’t need as much sleep as before. Did an enema, prepped for making Kimchi Salad, and vegetable stock, cleaned the combod — all before 8! After the call with Zishan, made the Kimchi, prepped for the stock, had a bath + cleaned the bathroom, and will make gobi-gajar-matar for lunch!
Yesterday, I slept for a bit in the afternoon — but was up soon & fresh. Then made cabbage for the night. After that Radhika was here for the massage — she’s good — knows her pressure points and much more. The only glitch was — she came at 5pm, it was 1.5 hr long, and I was super cold, specially post it. Took me a while to get warmed up. Then I was ready for bed. Did an oil wax drawing. And then slept probably around 8ish. I was up at 23:30, and then unable to sleep! Was on the phone a bit — but I’m now beginning to develop a dislike of the screen — good, I guess! Then was just up thinking random stuff. Don’t know when I fell asleep, but then was up around 06:30, and out of bed around 7!
16:45 — I think all the work in the day did take some toll on my energy! I guess the way to go is to go easy no matter how charged up I’m feeling! I did take a sun bath, and probably slept for some 30 odd minutes, but I’m sleepy again now. I’ll have my lemon-honey and try to sleep for a bit, I think.
Feb 27th. Day 13
10:19 — I’ve been needing really little sleep at night it seems — I’m usually done in about 5 hrs! Last night, and a little the night before that too, I did experience some pain and discomfort in the stomach — it’s probably organs in the torso getting stretched. But other than that, the day has been fine — was up at 6:30, had about 600–700 ml water, did enema, began the soup prep, and I feel quite fine.
Feb 28th. Day 14
20:35 — Interesting — I didn’t write in today! Let’s see — today did regular enema, then spoke to Zishan. Then we went to meet Daadi. Was there till around 11:30. Then papa had some bank work etc. Got back around 1ish. Tried to soak some sun, but there wasn’t much. So made Thai Green Curry for lunch for tomorrow! Tomorrow will make some innovative rice and put some more lemon grass and lime leaves in the Thai Curry. Also plan to make Papaya Peanut Lemon Salad. Fir aaj shaam ko Radhika was here. She said my body feels much more tight today, and not limp like last time. She noticed a lot of improvement in my nerves too. I toh do feel better. Also, her oil seems to be really good — my hair fall has reduced tremendously! I’m gonna follow her advice now for my hair growth. Yeah, that’s mostly it. Oh yeah, I dreamt last night of a place that I feel like I’ve seen many times before, like repetitive dreams. I wonder what it is. It’s a Cafe Coffee Day, there’s snow, I enter the arena, realize it’s CCD, wanna go look for more options, and so move out of the arena’s gate, and see a much bigger gate to the right. And that’s when even in my dream I feel like this seems familiar. I wonder what it was. Oh last night my stomach also didn’t ache as it had been for the last couple of days. Yesterday I started having a Coconut Water a day. Maybe that’s helped as it has quite a few macro & micro nutrients, even though in very small percentages.
Feb 29th. Day 15
21:55 — Energy was similar to last few days. Except I was very sleepy and cold at around 3 post all the cooking etc primarily coz of no sun through the day & it got chilly in the noon, and I had taken a full bath et al. Afternoon I made sticky rice with vegetable broth + papaya peanut lemon salad, and retouched the Thai green curry. I slept for almost exactly an hour & was fresh. Then in the evening it was just too cold for me to get out of bed etc and so I watched Manmarziyan! In the morning we had the WWRWTW call. It was pretty good. I’ve to get in touch with Neha to know more about her story. Tomorrow I enter into the phase where not many have been — Day 16! Though now I really wanna get over with the rest of the days coz I wanna eat again!
Mar 1st. Day 16
21:07 — Day 16 is done, left with 5 more days including tomorrow! Today I was purposeful of my time in the morning. Got out of bed at 6. Drank some water. Meditated. Had more water. Took an enema. Then conversation with Zishan. Sat outside under the sun and did some proper bird watching — saw 8/ 9 different birds and found their names. Then made Karnataka Style Orange Peel Curry & Poriyal — South Indian Style Cabbage. The curry got way too spicy! But the Poriyal I think was quite good. Then I slept in the sun for maybe an hour or more. Wanted to do more birding after that, but maama-maiju were here. I wasn’t on my phone most of the day today, & it felt really good. I think I’ll do it more. Bas. Now I’m counting days coz I wanna start eating again!
Mar 2nd. Day 17
15:30 — Made Dahi waale baingan today. And coconut chutney with fresh malai from my coconut! Mostly just did that, before that did some searching for Yoga TTC. And now I’m birding. It’s damn tough to figure out which one it is in the smaller birds! Energy mostly is similar to the last few days. Just had some cramps in my stomach this morning post the enema. Not sure why. Maybe I need to do a deeper cleanse. Will do more water tomorrow.
21:00 — I had this excess energy today evening around 7ish. And so I walked in the garden for about 40 mins, fairly briskly! Then meditated for 5 mins before the call with Meghna. I feel a little settled now with the restless energy, but I think now I should start walking in the mornings, and if need be in the evenings too else there just seems to be this pent up energy! 4 more days!
Mar 3rd. Day 18
09:30 — Today morning I did a deeper enema cleanse, & I felt like, as if somehow I was freer! And then I did a 30 min brisk walk around the garden! And even now I have a good amount of energy! I’ve been birding in the last hour or so — so many varieties in our house!
16:00 — Slept in the sun for may be 45 minutes. Was then fresh and up! Did some Yoga — different asanas. Tried arch, semi achieved it. Made Rajasthani Gatte ka Pulao, Bhatt Dal, & Carrot-Raddish-Mint Raita. Heard it came out very well, so did yesterday’s Dahi waale Baingan! I feel all good! The eagerness of wanting to get done with the rest of days has gone now, which I’m quite glad about coz I didn’t wanna be spending the next few days with that attitude. I’m thinking of doing my second round of Kombucha fermentation tomorrow — with fruits!
Mar 4th. Day 19
20:22 — And the 3rd last day is soon to be over! Today the whole day I’ve been thinking of writing in, but just something or the other kept happening. Twice guests came in too — so the day just went by! In the day I did 2nd round of fermentation of my freshly brewed Kombucha with fruit and other flavors. And restarted another batch of Kombucha too. I also now have two new born baby SCOBYS.
In the morning I got up around 4, & finally out of the bed around 5. Did regular water drinking + enema. Also did oil squishing today — had stopped for several days in between — earlier coz of not feeling upto it, & now out of laziness! Anyway, then meditated — only energy work. Did 20 mins of Yoga. And then went for a walk with papa — brisk & medium paced 45–50 min walk! Post that & the call with Zishan I felt sleepy & thought would doze off in the sun, but there was no sleep once I laid down in the sun! So just took a sunbath, & then began my Kombucha work!
Tomorrow again I plan to follow the same morning routine as today.
Mar 5th. Day 20
09:07 — Second last day! Morning has been same as yesterday, with minor changes — got up at 6, so just drank water, did enema, and then meditation. Then 50 min walk followed by 20 min yoga. But it’s damn cold today! Anyway, today morning I shat a very tiny bit on my own just before the enema — it was obviously lose, but I was damn proud of my bowel system! Also, last night I didn’t get much sleep — slept from 9 PM — 12:30 AM. Then tried to sleep, but was up till 4ish googling healthiest fish to eat & low carb & fat dips & sauces for steamed/ baked/ etc. veggies! Then slept from around 4 to 6ish. I thought I may be more sleepy, but I feel fine. I really hope the sun comes out!
21:35 — In the day I put henna for conditioning & iron absorption. Then made tomato rice & spiced the yellow dal with some coconut & green chillies & jeera. And then had my massage. Today after the massage I got damn sleepy! Probably coz through the day I didn’t lie down. Just got up about 40 mins back after sleeping at around 7ish. Will try getting back to sleep now.
Mar 6th. Day 21
10:45 — And finally, Day 21/21! Last night after I wrote in, I couldn’t sleep for another 3–3.5 hrs! But after that I slept till 7 in the morning, with a pee wake-up at around 4! I think my body really needed the sleep. I got up quite fresh. I’m glad I slept. I’ve also registered myself for the 4 week long Yoga TTC — and I’m really glad about it — I feel it’ll help me really strengthen this lifestyle foundation I’ve been working on these 21 days. And I think post the TTC I’d like to share with people my understanding of lifestyle choices, and help them in their journeys to make theirs.
Today evening I also put sauerkraut, sriracha, dijon mustard for fermentation.
Day 1 Refeeding. Mar 7th
18:45 — So, I guess, it all does eventually boil down to your own body’s truth…
The fruit diet didn’t suit me. I could only stomach 2 oranges ka pulp-less juice through the day, and still kept feeling uneasy.
Then I began looking online about refeeding post 21 day water fast, and what I learnt was that it is actually not a good idea to start with fruits unless you were either on a detox fast & were totally on various liquids, or if you’re a veteran faster! For most other people the high fructose in fruits doesn’t do too well with the liver.
And that it’s better to break your fast with steamed veggies & broths and stocks and soups. And some tiny probiotics like Kimchi!
Some 15 mins back had my steamed veggies and kimchi & my stomach and system all seem to love it! I feel warm and full!
21:25 — Probably ate a little too much in one sitting! Will break it down further tomorrow. Also, probably stocks & soups would be better for now. But veggies! The Kimchi seems to have been good though. Will start kombucha too day after.
Day 2 Refeeding. Mar 8th
15:25 — Today’s refeeding has been good. Had a glass of vegetable stock in the morning — it has shah jeera & ajwain in it. Then was hungry around 11:30 but was out, so at 12:30 after getting back had 7–8 whole cape gooseberries — they were yum! Then at 2:40ish had steamed veggies — palak, bathua, mushrooms, zuchini, peas, & broccoli, and some kimchi. I think I’ll have 100 ml kombucha in an hour or so, and then lauki-bathua-tomato soup for dinner, around 6:30.
If you’re interested in reading about my experience & learning from this 21-days long fast, please read My Experiments with my Body’s Truths.
I would love to hear your thoughts, queries, doubts, & more!
