TW rape (no details but this still could be triggering)

do my old friends not understand that i have literally been diagnosed with a mental illness (PTSD) because of what their friend did to me? i’m not someone who would ever ask people to take sides over petty drama. this isn’t petty drama. my life was significantly altered by what this person did to me. it turns out i can still function in relationships with the right people but sometimes it’s hard. it’s hard for me to trust anyone when it comes to dating/sex. i constantly fear that i will be abused again. i have nightmares that i have to talk to Isaac again. this is serious.

there are two people i told who cut him out of their lives entirely. they didn’t hesitate and they hate him now. one of them had been friends with him since high school. they had my back when i was forced to confront him. they told me they were sorry about what happened. they were actually good friends to me and i’m glad they’re in my life. i just wish they weren’t the only ones.

it’s easy for people on the outside to hear me describe my situation and say to forget those people, they’re not worth it. these people aren’t wrong and their intentions are good, but they don’t understand what it’s like to lose nearly everyone because they care more about someone who hurt you than they care about you.

i have to carry this with me every day. i lost an entire social circle full of people i thought were my friends, people i thought respected me, people i thought actually cared. he didn’t suffer any consequences, not even social ostracization, which is the minimum of what he deserves. his actions don’t affect him now and never really did but they still affect me, three years later.

fuck abusers/rapists but also fuck the abuse/rape apologists who side with them, you’re not much less heartless than they are.