A Leaf to Live
Was leaving (?)
A guilty plessure.
One of my bad habbit is procrastinating.
I procrastinate to move on.
Do I refuse to move on?
Nah, I’ll think about it later.
Have you ever felt that your brain was split into two different minds?. One of them was realistic. And the other one, is a true representation of your deepest desire that you think might makes you happy.
It happens since August, 31st, that these two kinds of mind in me.. were never parallel. It never sees eye to eye.
Looks like one mind is the opposite of the other one.
It started to dim out reality, leads me to an intense confusion.
Confusion of what i thought should’ve happened.
Confusion of how could the story ends.
Confusion of how could the heart choose something that consumes sadness, longing, and loneliness.
And with those confusions, i’m drowning myself to something people called a guilty plessure.
I started to get used to the pain.
I started to tolerate every refusal.
I started to constantly think “It’s okay, maybe someday things will turn back like what it used to be”
That every guilt of doing a hurtful effort was always okay.
That i’m still happy though i’ve spent much time for something i don’t deserve.
Because he is a leaf.
Rhyming with my most favorite thing.
As green as my favorite colour.
As relaxing as my favorite scent.
Every organism in this world was living because of the oxygens that produced by the leaves.
He is, figuratively, my leaf to live.
But then I forgot,
Universe has managed that every single leaf should fall, and become autumn.
No longer green.
No longer produces the same scent.
Then swept away…… into places we wouldn’t even know.
My leaf, to live, was leaving.
At least, there’s this thing that i believe.
We’re all, humans, will never know what comes next.
But we could’ve flattered the sky.
Begging to the universe.
And trust the power of prayers.
To the one who may not read,
Thank you for coming.
I do hope we’ll meet again someday.
When the hearts has grown its strongest feeling.
When patience has firmly arisen.
And when mind chooses wisely.