Inspiration from a Joker

Through a series of “progressive” decisions I am in the devastating process of job-hunting. The playing ground has changed drastically since I last played, afraid a word document with a nice profile picture doesn’t quite hack it anymore. It also seems to be quite trendy to be as elusive as possible as to the actual job description, rather listing perks and company values extensively to compensate.

I’m my own worst enemy on a good day, but when I’m out there selling myself (probably more to myself then the employer) I am seldom far from a crippling fear of failure. I’ve been trying to explain this growing concern of mine to an experienced stand-up comedian in my work space, and much to my amazement — he just cannot understand it.

Whilst I am wildly over-preparing, pinning, googling etc. for perhaps five interviews, as a stand-up comedian he wouldn’t last a day with such a fear. Quite simply, he repeats, “Of course you’re going to fail! Everyone fails! That’s no reason to worry.” I am sure, should it have made any impact on him, he could list endless “interviews” where he has failed — in the spotlight, time likely slowing to a halt — in front of a mass team of critics. Though it has never occurred to me, it’s really part of the job description — falling down and getting back up again.

Whilst this serves as further unnecessary confirmation that I’d be a horrific comedian, it’s quite an awe-inspiring thought that he cruises through these hurdles every performance whilst I start self-doubt days before an interview.

So it’s with this sentiment, from an unlikely source, that I vow to tackle the upcoming weeks. You will fail, darling, get over it. It’s part of the journey.

“Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.” Baz Luhrmann