The Ugly Mug: An “Ugly” Start
Once upon a time, there was a girl. And what a girl she was. Dazed, confused, slightly bemused, she looked at the world as if it were an exhibit in the MET. She moved through life, almost as if it were a simulation which just did not hold her interest. Her days were spent in a suspension, where she was a part of the world while being somewhere far away, her mind running at the speed of light. Always looking. Searching for something, which she never seemed to get. What little she did get would then be overanalyzed, overthought picked apart till she was left looking at the bare bones of what would have otherwise been a seemingly normal and borderline happy situation. No matter how much she tried, she just couldn’t let go of things. She knew she was obsessive, and she obsessively worried about it day in and day out.
She felt like an actress who was constantly on call. The whole world was her stage and at every point of time, she had to be mindful of her position, her dialogue, her interaction, her wardrobe as well as her expressions. She had a part to play and her mask couldn’t crack, lest people see her ugly mug. Surrounded by the sea of faces, she felt lost. All she wanted was to feel reality because what was touted to her as reality seemed like a farce at best.
And then it happened. She found her Neverland. And she met two lost boys. They were as lost as she was. Just two lost souls going through the pageantry of life, going through the motions like two cyborgs who had lost their souls, feeling alienated from the world and the reality that had been constructed around them. They had kept mum, thinking that even if people heard them, they wouldn’t listen or understand.
One night, quite by chance, words came erupting from her. Words that she did not have any control over. Sitting in that tiny room of her friend, lit only by the dim light of the lamp that threw all kinds of shadows on the opposing wall, she felt as if the dam broke. As if everything that kept her thoughts and feelings bound inside her had broken like an elastic that had been stretched too far. When she could finally control the deluge that had caused havoc in her inner equilibrium, she looked up to see two sets of eyes looking at her. These eyes did not hold any judgment or even understanding for that matter. But looking into those eyes, she knew that somehow, in this messed up a simulation of a world, she had found two souls who seemed to be glitches in the matrix too. And even though she had just shown off her ugly mug, the side of her that she had carefully hidden by well-constructed facades, was accepted here.
The next time something happened was on a late-night walk around the campus. The deluge came again, but not from her. It was her friend who had let loose his thoughts. And all she did was walk along with him as he talked in a slow baritone about things that she hadn’t thought about. Things that she did not know could affect someone else too. And, another ugly mug was brought forth.
This kept happening. Again and again. Where there was a listening ear, the ugly mug would make an appearance bringing with it the relief that came from venting out everything that had been kept inside till now. With the relief that came from finding a place with people who are similar to her, the girl and her friends came up with an idea. It was idiotic, but it was their own. They would convene every now and then to have a “Ugly Mug” meeting. This would be a space where everyone would get together, in the room with the lamp and the music mellow and just listen while whoever needed it, spoke. Spoke their heart and mind out. And the others listened. Without judgment and without censure. What started off as a personal space shared between three lost souls soon started expanding. It wasn’t just the three of them who needed a space where they could open up. Soon, people started trickling in, almost as if they had been attracted subliminally to this space where they could be heard out. And thus came about the “Ugly Mug Club”- a place for everyone where we hear you out with no censure or judgment; where you can be yourself irrespective how quirky you think you are; where you can let go of all your problems and just rant; where you have a shoulder to get support from or cry on (whatever suits your fancy) at all times of the day.
That’s the story of how it all started. The Ugly Mug- The Mental Health and Wellness club of MICA.
