What we didn’t Expect while Expecting!!
All of us parents have this Imaginary Child that sleeps by 8pm, wakes up for school without any fuss, eats whatever is given to him, doesn’t watch TV, no iPads or phones, greets everyone with a smile, always happy, no demands, never cries, well behaved, well mannered, smart, active, lovable and becomes a super successful human being one day ! But our Real Child turns out something different from our Imagination ! Doesn’t sleep on time, wakes up crying not wanting to go to school, lot of fuss and choices in food, watching TV all the time, almost magnetted to iPads and phones, demands new toys everyday, no respect for parents, lazy, cranky, no goals in life and what not !!
I am sure all you parents out there must be relating to this at some point or the other ! On the top of that, Parenting is the most Thankless Job ! When you become a parent, the amount of work you do is much more than you have done in your entire lifetime ! If you have an infant baby, you change around 70–80 diapers a Week ! But you don’t post that on Facebook, saying today I changed 10 diapers of my baby, gave him a warm bath thrice, feeded him 7 times, changed clothes 5 times, cleaned all the mess he created infinite times, etc !! If you take efforts in your career job, it gets recognised and most importantly you get paid for it !! On the other hand, you give your 500% as a Parent, that becomes your duty and responsibility with no pay and zero recognition ! But yes, if your kid is not well behaved, cranky or has any limitations, than you are marked as a Bad or a Failed Parent ! And everybody starts giving you unwanted free advices and opinions ! Soon your child and you become the talk of the Town !! The process gets so frustrating that you start blaming and getting mad at your child as he is not meeting the expectations of the society and esp his own Parents !!
Well, did we really expect all this while expecting ?? No… Actually, when we get the news of having a baby, we are filled with excitement of welcoming a new bundle of joy in our lives ! We Celebrate ! Baby showers…. Gifts… Babymoon !! But in all this, we forget to prepare ourselves emotionally for the new member of the family ! What we think is creating a wonderful baby room filled with toys, lots of branded baby clothes, diapers, baby food and looking for an excellent school for the baby in future ! And we think that it would be more than enough preparation for welcoming the new Angel !
Parents, Its time to start thinking beyond that !
0. Even if my child doesn’t meet any of my or societal expectations, I will still love him unconditionally !!
0. Even if my child lacks behind in studies or anything else in Life, I will support him rather than pressurising him !!
0. Even if my child can’t meet the milestones on time or lacks behind as compared to my friend’s children, I will not Compare – because my child is special and unique !
0. Even if my child has any of the physical or mental disabilities, I will never ever convey through my actions that I am cursed to have such a Child !!
0. Even if my child misbehaves, throws tantrums, demands attention all the time, doesn’t listen to anybody, I will keep trying to outgrow all the problems calmly and never give up !!
0. I will never hit him ! Never curse him ! Never pressurise him to come first in every Race ! The only thing I will do as a Parent is ACCEPTING HIM THE WAY HE IS !!!!!!!
0. I will not raise a Mini-me !! I will work hard to support my child in the areas that he finds challenging and will encourage him to pursue his own interests !!
Why do you want to give your children a predetermined shape set by the society ? We want our children to be in a certain mould ! We don’t want our children to blossom like a Flower ! Because we are afraid of anything fresh or unusual happening in them ! We want something that is familiar. We are always trying to be like somebody else. Isn’t it unfair to force our expectations on the Child ?
When you are finally prepared with strong will and such great intentions, go ahead and become a Proud Parent ! Let us handle our bundle of joys with optimum care and love as it is the greatest blessing to become a Parent !!
It is the caring, not the bearing, that creates the bond between a Parent and a Child !!