The side drawer is the culprit

The perfectly hand beaten coffee is delicately placed on the coaster. I have five tasks to be completed and there are two hours in hand. That’s a generous amount of time for me and I am confident each one of these tasks will finally be ticked off today. I’m ready! Wait where’s my notepad. I’d prefer to hand write all the tasks for better clarity because why deny myself the thrill of physically ticking them off.

I can prepare Nisha’s session in flat twenty minutes. I know her case pretty well by now. In all probability, she would have completed the first assignment and would want to discuss her responses in detail. To make her session effective, I’d rather focus on highlighting her ways of analysing her own situations and define the scope of improvement. Perfect let’s get on to this! No social media distraction- check, kids sorted for the next couple of hours- check, but something is irritating me. No important calls to be made- check, no pains, itches or aches anywhere, no. But something is irritating me. I casually start biting my nails as I look at the blank document on my screen waiting to be filled with Nisha’s practice activities with links to some relevant articles and case studies. I start preparing the first exercise for her and within 60 seconds, I compulsively started biting my nails. The skin supporting my thumb nail slightly began to peel off. I took a soft bite of the protruding skin and slowly began making consistent soft bites gently pulling the skin. The first exercise was ready but it took me ten minutes extra. No problem, I can handle this delay. Thoughts were beginning to flow smoothly and ouch, I bit my nail hard this time and pulled out most of it from my forefinger. Then I did the most dreadful thing I always do. I glanced at my nails and the neurons in my brain took a sudden detour. I could not continue making the session anymore. 45 minutes past and I was still on the first activity.

I instinctively opened my side drawer, reached out for the nail clipper and desperately started shaping my nails. I cleaned the drawer a fortnight back but the stationery was again mostly disarranged. I rarely use any of the stationery items in there except the flash drives and the stapler. Pens are in a fancy pen stand sitting pretty on another table shelf. I pulled out each item from the side drawer of my office table with an urge to neatly re-arrange everything. ‘This should just take 5 minutes and then I’ll be back on my pending tasks’, I told myself. An hour had gone by. I put my laptop away and made some space on my desk since everything from the drawer had been placed on the desk. The greyish beige nail paint was almost finished and damn it was a limited edition. I should have bought one more last time.

The punching machine, staple pin boxes, the ruler and the calculator must be placed right at the back. Let me put both the pen drives, the fancy pen and the paper cutter in the narrow wooden pencil box. Now my visiting cards and the remote control for the fan. Where did I lose the hard disk wire? I could have easily stored 6 GB worth of new data into it, my laptop would have worked so fast. One new task added: search for online cables for my hard disk. The cotton bunch has exhausted. Let me get it from the medicine pouch and keep it in the drawer. This cream color nail paint has always been my staple I love it! I must quickly arrange all the nail paints now. The nail paint remover and the cotton bunch right in front of the hard disk. The beige color nail paint, the cream one, the taupe and the misty brown all in the next row. Oh this brand new nail paint I recently purchased from Katrina Kaif’s new cosmetic label, I completely forgot about it. I’m going to apply this one. I must quickly place the other two nail paints and finally the moisturising tube and the nail clipper. Voila! My office side drawer is set! It is a visual delight :) Everything is so neatly stacked.Why was this not on my task list?

I gently stroked my nails with a generous coating of the nude brown nail paint and after they dried, I applied a transparent coat on them. ‘This nail color dries quickly’ I rejoiced. My nails looked great again and I was naturally getting my focus back. 15 minutes left and 4.5 more tasks to go but I’ve got this. Nisha’s session was almost prepared and I was prepping myself to start responding to the long list of pending client enquiries. The room was peaceful again and I had successfully reclaimed my calm. I could only hear the sound of the keys pressing the laptop key pad. I love this sound! The faster the sound, the better it gets.

“Mumma, are you doing office work?”



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Shreya Dhawal

Corporate Trainer. Image Coach. Certified in Counselling Psychology. Master Listener. Youtuber