Jon’s Dad = Robert & Ned & I Can Prove It.

I don’t get the certainty many seem to have re: Jon Snow’s lineage, w/out even a nod to the possibility Jon’s dad is anything but Targaryen. Proof King Robert Baratheon is likely Jon’s father derives not from yours truly but comes thanks to Ned “Be-Right-Or-Beheaded” Stark (& previous Hand of King Lord Jon Arryn), discoverers of Westerosi DNA testing & both murdered for the very facts that point to Jon’s sire like a neon arrow.

Ned finds Chekhov’s smoking gun that killed Lord Arryn in the pages of a little read genealogy of Westerosi royalty, and proves that little shit Prince Joffrey can’t be the son of King Robert. Robert’s entire line w/out exception reads “black of hair, black of hair, did I mention the black curly hair?” Until “son” Joffrey “blondie” Bartheon. Ding-ding-ding! The rumors are true, Prince Little-shit Joffrey is the incestuous spawn of Jaimie & Queen Cersei Lannister. Slam-dunk, end of story.

If Jon Snow is Targaryen, why isn’t his hair platinum blond? Like every Targaryen ever. Targarye’s are centuries of inbred hillbillies and blond is a recessive gene. It’s possible. However, Jon’s mom Lyanna Stark is a light brunette. If Targaryen’s have bred out everything but blond, from whom does Jon Snow derive those black curls?

Still skeptical? Good job, wise Maesters. Then as the official memory of Westeros, you’ll also recall in S1:E2, Queen Cersei calls on Catlin Stark as Catlin watches over son Bran Stark, thought likely to die from his infamous fall. Cersei tells a touching, largely-unknown story of losing her infant first born and seemingly only actual child by King Robert, a baby boy - and what’s that? Correct, “Black of hair,” you do have a good memory, maester

Could there be an alternative explanation? Of course, as Cersei conspired with Jaimie to put Bran in his comatose predicament so could be an unreliable narrator — that was the horseshit before the but — one of her few sincerities is a love of her children, and her late son died and took hope with him.

Oh, and I’m told as a son of Barathean, Jon Snow still shares a mutual ancestor with the Targaryens, a mutual grandparent and still a candidate to be the PWWP. My source there is the Grand Maester of the NYTimes, Jennifer Vineyard. The rest are my own dumb ideas.

All the above were presented as tangible, verifiable facts by the show. There are others less tangible, such as Bran’s vision of Lyanna’s dying declaration, an exception to hearsay and admissible in court by a certified 3-eyed Raven, before she bleeds out giving birth to Jon. This of course is taken by many as evidence Jon’s father is RapeOn Targaryen the No’no-Consensual. Well, um, except for the parts of Lyanna’s whispers to Ned we can’t hear. What do you think happened there? Bad day for the boom-op? The mixer asleep at the board? Yet people barely mention it if at all, including veteran GoTs reporters from legit sources. They’re TV critics — should having watched a TV show before be a prerequisite? GoT is particularly efficient maximizing screen time — it isn’t wasted. When holes get edited in the dialogue track during the big reveal of Jon’s secret parentage, a wise Maester might want to stick to their skepticism. At least until those holes get plugged, lest ye find ye are one f**k*d Maester! Gee, bet that meant “funkid” Maester!

A final point, early in S1 when a character gets initially introduced, that character says or does something that completely defines them. Ex: Littlefinger gets asked what he wants & he replies something along the lines of “To rule the world! Whoopee!” Okay, I added the whoopee, but without context the retort appears a throwaway joke. Rewatch the same introductory scene after seeing S5 we know kidding he ain’t.

When we meet Jon Snow in S1:E1, he’s catching flak from his supposed half- brother Robb Stark & Stark ward Theon as they drag Jon to a haircut as King Robert cometh, Robb & especially Theon teasing that Jon would rather cut off his cock than “his black curly hair.” Okay, so they didn’t say cock and it was Robb saying that, not Theon, but that would’ve been Irony as Theon’s home Isles. That have no iron. That too, is a metaphor. See what I did?

If still in doubt, cut to my future exwife, Emilia, with or without my future ex-stepkids (Gee, they’re getting big!) and just leave the camera there.