Article: How long will I wait…?

“My baby ambivalence is … a bit suffocating.”

As I near 28, this is such a relevant piece of writing, and it sums up exactly what I was referring to in Entry 1. I can’t agree more with what she’s saying in regards to the guilt and fear. However, for the first time, I am hearing what I think I needed to:

“I never got to the point where the desire to bring a baby into this world was suddenly shimmering and all-encompassing, where I turned to your father and surprised us both by saying, ‘I want one.’” Rather, I’ll tell [my daughter] that I arrived at a place where I could say, “I’m so happy I didn’t wait to want one. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have you.”

I think it’s time my husband and I officially settle on a month and year. Although we’ve discussed, “a year from now, or two,” we’ve never cemented anything, we’ve always put a pin in it. I think it’s really time to commit to a time that we’ll do it, because, just as the author of this article, I look forward more to the teenage and beyond years, than the infancy years.

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