I am Because You Are..
Its Guru Purnima, the day of gratitude towards teachers. Mind you, I am not a believer of religion or a believer of anything at all so writing about Guru Purnima feels a little out of the blue. But I am a feeler, if i feel like doing it, i do it. So this Guru Purnima I felt like I should write and dedicate a post to all the teachers out there who have shaped my life. I am because you all are out there breathing, teaching and making the most of it. I am because you all are, and you decided to touch my life so intimately at so many turns and slopes.
There are several types of teachers, teachers who taught us our languages and those who taught about the round world and those who taught us that if you have 2 apples in one hand and 5 in the other you have insanely huge hands. This post is dedicated to thank all of them, you have made a difference. This post is also dedicated to the other kind of teachers who are not called teachers in their day jobs but they teach anyway. In all honesty, this post may actually seem biased towards these non traditional type of teachers, because them I cannot group in a bucket of ‘all my school teachers’ or ‘all my college teachers’ and send a collective thank you to.
Life is a long fucking thing, imagine spending 20 plus 4 hours every single day for 7 days a week, 28/29/30/31 days a month, 12 months a year and 31 such years…that’s…ermm a LOT of time. If I really push my memory, my biggest teachers in life have been people who have taught me to push myself, to free myself of my self build shackles and to fly.
I started off as being a very timid, shy and scared person (at least internally, my exteriors probably never gave this off) so some of my earliest mentors taught me to walk into an office cafeteria alone, pick lunch from a selection of food I wasn’t acquainted with, request for my pick from a foreigner and then have the courage to walk across the hall to an empty seat, sit alone and eat…all of this without my auto-combustion mode setting off. Some others taught me to put on a confident face in times of uncertainty. While others taught me to dig deeper when faced with a challenge. Some taught me patience and letting go of notions and boundaries while others taught how important it is to build some ‘good boundaries’. Each one of these mentors and teachers have had a different way of teaching. Some adopted the ‘push her in the deep’ method while others adopted the teach and repeat and repeat and repeat until she gets it right style. Both, I have been extremely grateful of because they taught me how to gauge situations and people apart from the lesson itself.
Not all of these teachers I have appreciated when I had the time, some, who I learnt a great deal from, were in fact hated when they were working their magic on me. I would spend days and nights cursing the living hell out of them for putting me through the heat. But the heat kindled a fire in my belly…every-single-time. Even those who pushed me in the fire without a good intent have made significant contributions, so thank you. I would not be half as competent, half as patient, half as carefree and half as vocal if it was not for YOU!
There have been so many silent teachers too, those whose teachings I never realised I was receiving, because they taught with example and taught without the intention of teaching. They were being themselves and were sometimes even learning from me when very subtly and silently they planted their seeds, deep in my being. And one day a beautiful life emerged from that very seed, so thank YOU! I would not be half as humble, half as aware and half as motivated if not for you!
I also want to put in a special mention to that one person who has been with me all through out, through such thicks and such major thins that my heart warms up to the courage and determination. That one person has kept me afloat and has taught me to always remember that however dark a day however shadowy its demons, it too shall pass…and pass it does. So thank you to my inner self who has had the aptitude to be so open and so receiving, for accepting every piece of knowledge and wisdom no matter its source. It never judged, never threw a tantrum and above all never let me fly any more than a few inches off the ground at any time. Thank you for being there and always teaching me to put one step after the other.
Now, when I look back every struggle has been my teacher. Every hard day, every success and every heartbreak has elevated me higher. Every new job and every new boss, every new colleague and every support staff has left me abundant. Every aunty who pushed me in the train and every motorist who sped past me has tested my patience. And I am grateful…Gurur Brahma, Gurur Vishnu, Gurur Devo Maheshwarah, Gurur Sakshat Para-Brahma, Tasmay Shree Gurve Namah.
Teachers came in all shapes and sizes and I was tested of my vices so often without any choices. On a daily basis I felt like i am no wiser but when i look at the larger picture, mountains have moved and oceans have swelled higher. It is a rich life when you learn, it is a blessed life when you are gifted, gifted with people, with voices and with actions that motivate, gifted with a reason to join and agitate. You have one life and trust me, you are gifted when your teachers are people you imitate.