Ego vs Self Esteem
I have seen lot of individuals, even my past version of me, talking about ego, mostly how bad it is, how one should not have it or one must have it but not too much of it. Somewhere, it didn’t work for me to go EGOLESS, it was a very horrible experience and I found myself confused in that. And from my experience, I just got one observation that, in society, most people will always try to talk about, teach about, advise about something which didn’t work for them, that’s very gross and that’s why today’s most human world is totally screwed and it continues to be. I felt very sorry for that but that’s the observation not the judgement, you can observe it by yourself too.
The pursuit of being EGOLESS got me close to experience it just the way it is, without any judgements of me and others, pure and natural! I found EGO as an identity one makes up about oneself. It’s one’s image of oneself. It is what you think who you are. Simple! It has got nothing to do with respect-disrespect, greed, proving yourself or your point and giving importance to oneself.
Right now, you are a reader, that’s your identification now, your ego now, next moment you might be with your family, so your identification (ego) would be a son/daughter/friend/sister/brother/wife/husband/father/mother etc. Next moment your identification (ego) would be a student/teacher/citizen/vendor/customer/individual/employee/blah blah blah…. Your identification is not static, it is changing, moment to moment, YOUR EGO IS DYNAMIC! Just imagine, every moment your identification goes on changing and you have to act/respond accordingly, how beautiful and cinematic this life experience is! And due this natural setup, one can’t take life for granted.
Embryos of various life forms are similar at initial stages, but later they grow, cells divide in different manners because of identification (genetic information) they carry in their DNA, your DNA itself holds your identification, Your EGO is itself in your DNA and I was trying to be EGOLESS! That was such an idiotic pursuit. And I am sorry with whom I talked about how bad EGO is, I apologize and to everyone, this blog is my payback.
Once you are clear with what your identification is, for example, if you are willing to identify yourself as, I am a reader right now, willing to read this blog, understand it, then you are able to involve yourself with this blog. Your intelligence, your thoughts, your body itself will work in your favour. These all things work in a favour of your identification. Can’t believe? Once you identify yourself as this thing is difficult for you, all those mentioned things work in that favour, even you can find the universal beauty an ugly one! Your life.
Your general ego is usually constructed of a name, a personality, and a story. Within this personal story is a collection of memories, beliefs, impressions and sensations about who “you are,” where “you came from,” what “you’re good and bad at,” what “you’ve experienced,” and on, and on, and on, ad infinitum. The ego isn’t “good” or “bad,” it simply IS. We need to realize that the ego is simply a tool. The ego exists as a biological survival mechanism.
Just like when a gun is handed over to a terrorist instead of a soldier, problem arises when the ESTEEM/IMPORTANCE is handed over to your IDENTIFICATION/EGO. It’s a problem of harnessing the tool. Even after their daily survival is taken care of, a lot of human sufferings in this world are results of this one thing; esteem gets attached with ego. When your esteem gets attached with your identification, it becomes, SELF-ESTEEM, this is your Nuclear bomb used against yourself.
Esteem attached ego(SELF ESTEEM) creates so many illusions, according to one’s story, I am this, I am not this, the individual lives in his own fairy-tale and beliefs, detached from the reality and eventually self-esteem makes you feel that you are important and special individual, it creates a special golden cage for you, making you detached from free flowing life, and in that detached golden cage a misery hits you and your beliefs, the bedrock of your understandings explodes into fucking million pieces.
Of course, you are unique individual, having unique body, unique life story, unique biology, unique life just like everyone else. Everyone is unique but no one is special. Specialty lies in what you do, not in who you are. If your cells demanded self-esteem, you wouldn’t even be formed. Your self-esteem gets disappear for some moments where you can’t compete and guess what, for that amount of time you feel wonderful! Your self-esteem gets surrendered (naming few) at your respective religious places (prayers are for that- making your self-esteem praise the god so that it gets dissolved), celebrating team victory, watching any natural wonder, watching any favourite movie, listening to favourite songs, during sex, during your death. Recently, I had a trek to a castle, there I witnessed lot of natural wonders, I observed individuals and myself too what exactly happens within.
In this cosmos, our galaxy is a very very very small. In the Milky Way, this Solar System is very very very small. In that solar system , planet Earth is very very very small. In that, your city is very very very small. In that city, you are a big man! Why so much self importance when we are just nothing in this cosmos ? Watch this ( & come back to continue the blog ):
You suffer, get offended, get insulted, get embarrassed, get into argument, get into respect-disrespect, get abused only because of your SELF-ESTEEM. Because of esteem attached ego you start to identify yourself based on your thoughts, body, judgements and what not! Unlike oxygen, water, food, shelter etc., you don’t need esteem/importance/respect. And also, you don’t need disrespect/dishonour/insult. You need an EGO. Your life, your reality is loaded with so many wonderful things where self-esteem is a worthless piece of shit. (because even a shit has a value in an ecosystem).
Look at life around you, the trees, the animals, the birds, insects. These beings simply pop up (like pop up on website) on earth and after their life, they easily go away, simply being a presence during their lifetime. That’s the beauty about them, it’s never a matter of importance to them, it’s a matter of how they support their and other life around them and that’s why they are born, they never make importance out of it. It’s a folly of human intelligence which turned against human itself. The folly of importance is the source of discrimination, source of being down to earth, source of VIP culture. We seriously need to learn to be a presence like the other life. (Being grateful is totally different thing, thank you doesn’t give any importance but recognises your presence in the life).
The solution to detach the esteem from ego is try to be aware of it. CONSCIOUSNESS/AWARENESS. That worked for me and is working for me. This blog gives you that idea and it’s your turn to observe it for yourself, because only you know yourself better than anyone. You may talk to me regarding tackling this self-esteem. The fees for that will be your time and willingness to travel. And within this process of detaching the self-esteem, only your ego is going to help you.
The ego is a teacher, one that you carry with you each day. When seen in this light, the ego is the most powerful and persistent teacher we have to wake us up to, the Truth that has always been here, and will always be here.
In the end, I just made a special video for you -
