We need to talk about it. We can’t freeze it out. Because we have to stop the cycle of telling an estimated 10% of girls and women that their physical suffering “is nothing” for a decade following the beginning of menstruation. Because we are doing real psychological damage to girls and affecting their self esteem during their formative years. Because we are telling them that pleasantness matters more than their health, that their primary responsibility is to be quiet and nice, and worst of all, that their trust in others should be greater than their trust in themselves. Because it’s time we take women’s pain seriously. Because it’s time we take women seriously.
Honestly, it was kind of a relief. I didn’t “just have a low pain tolerance.” I wasn’t “just weaker than everyone else.” I wasn’t “just an anxious hypochondriac.” I had symptoms of a disease with real consequences that I had largely ignored for 14 years, with lots of encouragement from society and well — everyone — until it was finally impossible to go on ignoring it.
…etermined to get that job, and I knew that even these setbacks wouldn’t deter me from learning PHP. When you don’t have time to waste, you don’t have time to feel desperate; instead, you have to focus on finding solutions.
…eded for their purpose. It is important that they do vary; otherwise this is not a learning system. In our teams as in…eded for their purpose. It is important that they do vary; otherwise this is not a learning system. In our teams as in our technical architecture, the crucial question is “how do we change it?”
…everything about our day-to-day lives: where we can live, what we can do, how much freedom we have. It’s entirely in our interest to be more informed about where we stand when it comes to our pay, and yet we keep that information secret because we’re afraid we’ll be penalized for sharing it. In an industry that’s supposed to value transparency so deeply, we’re falling short where it matters most.
Here is my answer: I believed that, to borrow an analogy from a friend, if I kept digging I would find water. And sometimes I did. Just enough to sustain me. And when you’re dying of thirst, that water is the best water you’ll ever drink. When you’re alienated from your friends, there’s no one to tell you that there’s a drinking fountain 20 feet away. And when your self-worth reaches such depths after years of being treated like you’re worthless, you might find you think you deserve that sort of treatment, and no one else will love you.