An open letter to Shuge

Dear Shuge,

You really screwed up this past month. Pull yourself up together.

You’ve stopped caring. Stopped doing your homework. Stopped doing your commitments. Stopped doing the things you love.

You were in a mental mess. You said it started with sickness but your mentality was really enrooted within. You claimed that you may have depression. You felt sad and cried. You broke down numerous times at schools. Your felt invalidated and useless.

But get up. Because if you want to go back to the old you, you have to get back. Junior year isn’t actually that bad. You just have to have discipline and pull yourself together.

Go back to your old self. Make plans and stick to it. Blog everyday or when you have a meaningful thought. Read more quora, spend more time on Medium. Get off of that toxic college confidential forum (unless it’s for research purposes.) Stop going on facebook using your brother’s account. Go running more. Where did all your optimism and energy go? Eat them raw foods!

I guess what I’m saying is that it’s not too late.

You can still make a difference. You can still salvage yourself.

Best Wishes,


April 10th, 2016

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a response

august 30th, 2016

Dear past Shuge,

Thank you for these reminders that it’s not too late. I’m a senior now and I thought that meant I would magically just become all rounded wonderful, good grades, good time management, good study habits.

Each day, I am humbled by my incompetence. What I thought I was. I’m not.

Who I think I am. I’m not.

Who will I be? I don’t know.

I just know that now despite that I feel trapped still, I am different. I am much more willing to try and work hard. To connect with people on a deeper sense. To imbue value and meaning and purpose. Because that’s how you find your purpose. It doesn’t fall on you.

You have to seek it.


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a step into the new years

january 2nd, 2017

Dear Shuge,

What a year.

You had some pretty rough and patchy times but you’ve also met some of your highest highs.

You’ve cried, laughed, smiled.

You experienced a variety of emotions.


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